I use to loathe Facebook because I saw it as fake book, pose book,etc. It was originally created to allow families/friends who where unable to see each other to share those special memories though they lived miles apart. It became a place for folks to create a new reality.. one could post a picture of his or her self that did not truly depict his or her true identity.. It became a place where individuals justified extra-marital affairs. It because a place where one would show what they had for dinner, which store they shopped at, what the inside of their house looked like, what their new found taste in clothing was about.. all the superficial things that made you want to barf.. Made you wonder what these individuals where missing in their lives why they had an insatiable need to impress others.. be such exhibitionist, extroverts... the more they posed for fake book the more sad and empty they appeared...to me Then I realized that these individual had a right to be heard and seen and I was certainly not in a place to judge them for I wanted to highlight a part of myself as well. I wanted to share my thoughts, feelings, passion, dreams, cultural awareness, etc. For the most part I picked my friends..politely ignore those who I felt had nothing of interest to share with me. I sought connection with some who also politely ignored my wink and I realize that they also had the right to pick friends they connected to.. I am here to not connect so much with old friends but to speak to myself in public; a habit I had from childhood.. dubbed as Mass Baker for always taking to myself. I sometimes see a song posted on someones timeline that uplifts me. I see a politically incorrect joke that makes me laugh out loud.. thanks Ken. I see a movie that makes me cry or a clip highlighting the beauty of human interaction, kindness of strangers, the faithfulness of a pet. The power of music and the strength of friendships. There are very few people in the world that has left a lasting, wonderful memory on me.. Carla Swaby, Andrea Prince are the two gals that makes me smile when I remember my childhood and teenage years.. Karlene Castel who has been a constant in my life. Sheri Haidarali who I met in the pursuit of education, We have weathered some storm together and still manage to laugh about things that would break others... I dont trust anyone but I let my guard down when I am with these girls. I love them in different ways. So my friends list is small.. I like it this way.. for these are real friend. People I would share a meal with, reminisce about old times and share stories. Folks I feel comfortable being around without suffocating under false pretenses, judgement and religion. In my real life I had a difficult time making friends and sometimes use psychology to weed out insincerity... it works well for me. It is not everyone who claims to be a friend that is really one so I advice everyone to choose wisely and when you find a best friend you cherish each other. I am the loner in the room filled with people... staying in the distance and observing all that is happening..forming opinions and dismissing misconceptions.. alone but not lonely. So if you wish to inspire me, educate me, entertain me, refrain from bringing your religion to me, I am free even for a moment. I learn so much about Jamaica and its diaspora and realize this facebook is not so bad after all. Its great to see childhood associates blossom into mature individuals with families, careers, goals, ambition etc. Some people I know I may never see again but glad to see their faces for it brings me back to that special place of ... innocence! I am different yet the same Jennifer 46 years renewed...seeking truth even in dark and dirty places.. I love myself, my children, my husband, my space, my experiences, my privacy more than money... I root for the poor, disenfranchised oppressed, individuals in society.. I admire their strength in fighting to find their place in a world that would rather see them disappear. I dislike pastors... who presents the creator as a beast in an attempt to scare people into maintaining their privilege position with tides and offerings, while the saints wait to die and go to heaven before they obtain their joy.. CRIMINALS!! LIARS... MONEY WHORES. Fire for every pastor!!! home and abroad.. especially those who do not recognize their opportunity to help the poor and needy... I love the woodland where I grew up more than the trappings of western civilization.. for only then did I find perfect peace. And look forward to returning to my idea of Utopia.. Me along with my rastaman and babies living in the woods, feeding off the land, breathing the clean air, avoiding fake people living in bondage. Freedom to be ... not tied to rules meant to stifle my creativity, my humanity.. And when I get there I know this paradise has its predators so I learn and teach my child how to survive in the jungle. The lion and tigers are my friends, it is the people in their jacket and ties, that scare me.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Oct 2013 02:44:45 +0000
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