I used to take side streets to work, took me 15 mins if I hit a couple long Reds. Then I worked an honest days work, productive, efficient and ambitious. Then I would go home, kick off my work sneakers have a nice meal and watch Family Guy. There was a time were I would feel like I dont have a care in the world. I never took it for granted but since Toris diagnoses I appreciate those times even more. I now sleep in a hospital chair for 4-5 hours. The amazing Grand parents 😘 come to relieve us around 3am -4am daily; then my wife and I are lucky to go across the street to the McDonalds house across the street from the hospital to sleep in a bed for a couple extra hours if possible. At the hospital anything can happen. I mean, Ive sat by during surgeries. Ive held my daughter down to staple her head shut. I watch as we give her poisons daily to stop her cancer, which make her vomit profusely. Some days Im the rock, holding my wife as she cries when Toris hair and eye lashes fall from her head and face. Sometimes Im the one scrapped up from the ground after a night of sobbing or a panic attack. I then commute from LA, leaving my exhausted wife and sick daughter in rear view mirror while I attempt to keep my shit together long enough to get through another day. I wear a smile even when my face doesnt want to and stay calm although I may feel tense or impatient. I give my attention to others regardless of my own distractions. I validate the adversities of my friends through conversation and council despite the gravity of my own. No matter how positive a person I strive to be or strong a human being people may think I am. I am still just human, fallible and imperfect. I have not and will never use my own trials as an excuse to be a lesser man but use my struggle to fuel my compassion for others and my own passion for life. #victoryforvictoria #deardiary #ventsesh
Posted on: Sat, 24 Jan 2015 06:03:18 +0000
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