I want to tell you all some very true stories of what happened few weeks and days ago. Few months ago, I was travelling back from Lagos when suddenly, the bridge broke, I immediately jumped out and bought a little super glue of twenty Naira with which I glued the bridge together and we crossed. I enjoyed the luxurious bus until we reached Aba, my bus fare from Lagos was supposed to be forty Naira, but I had fifty Naira and when I paid and asked for my balance, the conductor started abusing and fighting me, he even pulled out one of the shafts of the bus and hit on my teeth and then, the shaft broke into pieces, immediately, I lost my temper and took the whole luxurious bus and hit it on his head with all the passengers inside it. very soon, a man brought out his phone and called some people, they came with a hilux car, when they came, they started flogging me with horse tails, the horse tails tore into shreds and I got angry again and tied their car to a pure water satchet and it could not move, then I uprooted an electric pole with about 12 life wires and flogged the hell out of them, when I got home about two weeks later,my brothers told me that there was no light because the transformer was very dusty, so I took a bucket of water and omo with metal sponge and washed the transformer, so we had light again. sooner, my uncle came back from a certain mechanic workshop and told me that his engine needed repair, so I brought out the engine block with my left hand and with my right hand, I tailored the engine with a needle and thread, then it was good again. just as I was about to lay my head on the bed and sleep, my brother told me that someone was troubling him in his 8 storey building, but I didnt have time for case, so I tracked to Abuja where the house was and brought the 8 deck back to Aba because my bros built the house on a leased land, so I carried the house to where he bout a piece of land here in Aba. it didnt take long when a great flood from Atlantic ocean rushed into Lagos, when I was called, I went with a mop to Lagos and mopped out the whole Atlantic ocean once, later, the governor of Lagos state began to question me about the disappearance of the ocean, so to avoid much arguments, I brought out a cup of water and filled back the ocean. Three and half hours later, some Army men came to arrest me, they pointed their guns at me which led to my provocation, then I took their rocket launchers and put into my wallet, meanwhile, pitting their AK-47 s into the part of my wallet where passports and ID cards are meant to be, so I was sewed to court, and a night to the day Id be tried, a policeman put my file into the foundation of the courthouse, I was offended again, so I brought out a spoon from my pocket with which I dug out the building, retrieved the file and put the house back. So finally, I was found innocent, I was so happy, as the judge and my lawyer came forward to shake hands with me, I forgot it was the both of them, I thought I was holding candies, so with great joy in heart, I sprayed them like chocolate into the audience, then I went home. When I got home, cousin told me that there was no water in the house, so just to help her, I used my fork to transfer water from the tank to all the containers in the house. it didnt take long when a certain police man approached me and asked me for my driving liscence, I showed him and he asked again, so I noticed he was having some memory problem, so as a kind and tender hearted man, I opened his head, researched until I found his memory card slot, oh! he was operating with 512MB, so I removed it, copied all the files into a new 16GB memory card after which I re-inserted it, so from that day, he never repeated questions again. as a result, the police man gave me a contract to paint his two storey building, but he did not tell me which color, so I used pink, when he came back, he said he needed blue paint, so I used my eraser to erase the pink paint, then I used my blue crayon to paint back the house into the desired blue.when he came, he said that he saw a mother color so I should change the color, I got annoyed and seized the house, hence putting it into my shirt pocket, he begged and begged after which he paid before I gave him back the house. How do you see all my good deeds?
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 11:56:52 +0000
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