I was DMing a 3.5 ed game for some friends several years back. The party arrived at a middling size town and proceeded to do what they do best: scatter to the four winds. One by one, we played through buying supplies, argued about the availability of impossibly broken magic items, and the inevitable wenching at the local watering hole. Finally, we got to the Barbarian. What are you doing? I asked. Can I go search the local woods for a mount? he asked. Wouldnt you rather have a horse or something available in town? Nah. He giggled maniacally. Well, okay. Roll search and survival to find some tracks worth following. He rolled, and named some absolutely ridiculous number. I checked it, verified that its what the sheet says, then mentally shrug. I did a lot of that with this group. You find some tracks. Elk, deer, wolf, and Dire Boar. Ooh, Ill follow that one. The boar. Okay. roll survival again. He rolled again, and got a similarly high number. The Barbarian not only successfully tracked a Dire Boar back to its den, but caught it sleeping. He then knocked it out with his war hammer and hogtied it. Of course, being a Barbarian his strength score was also ridiculous, so he simply dragged the 1500 pound critter back to town. Okay, now what do you do? I asked him. I really should have known better by now. Im going to shoe it. Youre going to shoe a Dire Boar? Hes a mount, aint he? Again the maniacal giggle. Back to the dice we went. Yes, there was a blacksmith in town, and yes, for four times the normal fee he would shoe the unconscious wild Dire Boar. The Barbarian handed over the gold, then took himself off to the tavern to try drinking the Dwarf under the table. Again. Meanwhile, halfway through the shoeing process, the Dire Boar wakes up. NOT HAPPY. It starts thrashing around, trying to get loose. Quite sensibly, the blacksmith evacuates the shop and sends his apprentice for the (now quite tipsy) Barbarian to come control his would-be mount. The Barbarian came back, trusty war hammer in hand, convinced that all it would take to calm the beastie is another couple of love taps to the noggin. It was at this time that he learned that a sleeping Dire Boar is considerably different from an enraged Dire Boar. The Boar, still tied up, dodged the Barbarians best efforts to knock it over the head, impaled him with a tusk, and proceeded to use his body to start shattering the massive wooden support beams holding the roof up. The Barbarian worked his way off the tusk, and reluctantly concluded that this relationship was Not Meant to Be. He drew his war hammer, flew into a rage, and killed the Boar. Unfortunately, in the process of getting killed, the Boar managed to completely demolish the forge, leaving behind a massive dead boar-carcass, a large scattering of kindling that used to be a shop, and a blacksmith whose rapidly darkening color and sputtering sounded ominously like Mt. Vesuvius warming up. It was at this point that the Paladin swung into action. Using his (also disgustingly high) diplomacy skill, he talked the angry blacksmith into accepting monetary compensation for his loss. The blacksmith named a large (though reasonable, all things considered) sum. The Barbarian and the Paladin exchanged looks. The last adventures plunder would cover the amount handily, except that theyd already spent it on magic swords and such. Then the Barbarian had an idea. He dragged the Boar outside the town walls and proceeded to butcher it. The Paladin built a large fire, and the Rogue hung up a sign at the town gates. DIRE BOAR BBQ 5gp All You Can Eat! Pretty soon the smell of barbeque began to waft over the town walls. The whole town turned out and stuffed themselves stupid on the late would-be mount. Between that and the auction of some REALLY old Elven wine theyd found in a previous dungeon, not only did they pay off the irate blacksmith, but walked away with a goodly amount of pocket change. All’s well that ends better, I suppose. Unless you’re the Boar. This is the kinda adventure i like in rpg games
Posted on: Sat, 22 Mar 2014 22:14:58 +0000
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