I was just made to watch Birdemic: Shock and Terror. It was the worst movie Ive ever seen. Even worse than The Room, Catwoman, anything starring Adam Sandler or Nic Cage in the last ten years, the Scary/Disaster/whatever Movies, Superman IV, The Last Airbender, and Freddy Got Fingered combined, which is reeaally saying a lot. They at least had a budget. Its so bad its good doesnt apply here. Its so bad it should be launched into space, nuked, then sent into a black hole to either be completely obliterated, or inflicted on some sorry alternate universe. Its physically painful to watch. I wouldnt recommend it unless youve got several large doses of morphine on hand. I was in danger of smashing my screen or hanging myself ten minutes in. Anything to stop the pain. The only good thing I can say about it is it evokes an emotional response in the viewer. That emotion being amusement, but which quickly develops into any combination of rage, disgust, grief, fear, nausea, depression, and a range of physical effects including but not limited to peanut allergy, lung cancer and crabs. If youll excuse me, Im gonna go jam a knife into my brain and wiggle it around to see if I can carve out the unwanted memories, then spend the rest of my life trying to build a time machine so I can recover the precious time I lost. Good day.
Posted on: Wed, 16 Apr 2014 13:10:27 +0000
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