I was really going to try to avoid talking about this, because I was certain no one would listen to what I have to say, because what I have to say on the topic is not popular, but its gone too far. I cant just sit and listen while people keep propagating false premises that damage people. So. Lets talk about suicide. This is not going to be some, We must DO something! call to action, some patronizing chastisement of how you need to talk to each other about your feelings more often, or watch for the signs. And this is not a typical suicide commentary. I didnt proofread or edit this, so its long.. This, rather, is going to be about how all of those things contribute TO suicide. And no, Im not joking. Suicide is an act. Usually, but not quite always, motivated by extreme depression. And before you tell me You just dont know what its like to be that deeply, crushingly depressed, Kire, Let me just tell you to get bent. I DO know. Ive been there. Repeatedly. Suicide is not a disease. Its not something you have no control over. Its an act. That you can do or not do, depending on what you choose. It does NOT rob you of your free will. In fact, it requires free will to perform - because if you commit suicide without free will, its not suicide. Its an accident. ...Do you understand why I have such a problem with Suicide awareness programs and other such calls to arms over the issue? Theyre literally telling you to fight free will. That YOU are responsible for someone ELSEs actions. I cant tell you how many times Ive heard, Just one suicide is too many. Whos gonna stop them? HOW are you gonna stop them? By talking to them, being there for them, getting them professional help... Talking to them and being there for thems all well and good, but its not going to stop them. Its still THEIR choice. And for anyone whos tried professional help, you know exactly why thats a shaky proposition, at best. Suicide is a terrible thing to do. Its selfish and cowardly. Theres no excuse for it. And the first thing people who have felt the urge want to do is MAKE excuses for it... which only inclines them to think about it again, because now theyve convinced themselves that its something they cant control. And talking about it often only helps them feed the victim mentality that is the root of their problem. Quick aside:Tell me, internet experts: Who has a higher suicide rate? Men, or women? Men do. And yet, the experts insist that the way to deal with suicidal tendencies is to Talk your feelings through, and be emotionally open with someone. Youre not going to get far treating men with depression by treating them like women. You want to help a depressed man? Give him a task. Make him feel useful. Give him purpose and drive. Take him out and make him chop wood, paint fences, or even fish - something outdoors, with physical exertion as a plus. Something to remind him that he is alive and that his life isnt pointless. As for depressed women, maybe the talking-in-circles crap helps. I dont know. Im not a woman. But Im positive that the last thing you want to tell anyone whos depressed is that its something outside their control, because thats HOW THEY FEEL ALREADY. Youre basically telling them to place all their hope on the ability of either a therapist or a pill to make them feel better and if that fails to life up to the hype, theyve got nothing but despair, because they have already been told they cant hope to rely on themselves, or even God to save them, because they cant fight biology. ...Back to the programs, however. Suicide prevention programs do some good, I wont deny. They remind us to interact with one another and not ignore each other. They tell us to not be careless about hurting each other and to actually try to help people who are hurting. ...But they do a LOT of bad, in my opinion. First, they tell you that its YOUR fault that people commit suicide. So all those friends of yours who killed themselves? Your fault. You should have seen the signs. You should have talked to them more. You werent a good friend. You should have gotten professional help from people who know YOUR FRIENDS better than you. Which brings me to my second point: Second, they tell you that what youre supposed to do to help a suicidal person is refer them to a professional, who will most likely shove happy pills in their face and call it a day. Im not saying antidepressants dont have their place when used carefully. But they are NOT a cure-all, especially for suicide. In many cases, they cause so much emotional up-downs that it only makes suicide a MORE appealing choice - and when youve got suicidal depression blithely combined with pill-induced mania, youve got a recipe for disaster. The mass-murder kind. Youll be wanting to kill yourself and BE HAPPY WHILE YOU DO IT. Someone with no regard for their own life yet whos also incapable of feeling sad about it is not likely to regard anyone elses life very much, either. Third, they tell you that you have no free will. That suicide is a disease that takes over your body and kills you. This basically gives you permission to abdicate your free will and stop fighting the urges you have because you cant help yourself. So in essence, suicide awareness programs take people who are already depressed and make them think about suicide, and take people who are thinking about suicide and convince them that they have no choice in the matter. So as someone whos been so crushingly depressed that I did not get out of bed for days, even to EAT or DRINK, whos SEEN professionals who did NOT make the situation better, and who STILL DID NOT KILL THEMSELVES... ...I find all this offering excuses for suicide victims to be truly offensive. To close, I want to make two points. First, we SHOULD be kind to one another. We SHOULD be mindful of each other. We SHOULD help each other out when we find people who have fallen into emotional pits. And we should take it upon OURSELVES to do so, instead of fobbing off the responsibility to some professional. Even if you do think a professional is needed, you still need to follow up on that person and support them yourself. Second, Im not saying that we should spit on the graves of those who have committed suicide. Respect the dead. Suicide is still truly a tragedy. But make no bones about it - its not a disease, its not uncontrollable, and it IS wrong. Dont offer excuses for someones final act in this world JUST because it was their final act. Dont turn people into heroes because they survived as long as they did. And DONT make people who have committed suicide out to be victims. They are not. They are the perpetrators.
Posted on: Thu, 14 Aug 2014 01:11:34 +0000
Trending Topics
Recently Viewed Topics
© 2015