I was thinking about it today. It has been 8 years since my father passed away, and unfortunately I missed out on a lot. I keep seeing my brother and his wife talk about Pops. I envy that to a certain extent. I never knew Pops. Thats why I will always call him Daddy. My mother and father split up when I was 3, so he was Daddy. To me, he will always be Daddy. I think thats why I keep telling Robbie to call me Daddy. His mother is trying to get him to call me Dad. Robbie, I told him, One day I will be gone and you can call me whatever you want. But for now, you are the only living thing on this earth with full rights to call me Daddy and thats how I want you to remember me. He didnt understand all of that Im sure, but one day he will. Pops. Daddy. Bobby. These are just names. I really miss that man. I hardly got to know him, but I knew enough to realize that his death sucked a whole bunch of things out of my world that I would give my own life to get back. Things I will never know again until I reach the clearing at the end of the path. Roland Deschain, Stephen Kings titular Gunslinger from The Dark Tower says, Never forget the face of your father. Its an oath that is used to remind people to always set an example that their father would be proud of. I never really knew my father and we didnt have a lot of time to make that up at the end. I dont know if he would be proud of my life or not. I think he was proud of what little he knew. Im sorry hes gone, but I will not forget his face and Im glad to be his son. I hope one day, Robbie is as proud to be mine. Another favorite quote of mine is The son becomes the father, and the father becomes the son. Now if you will excuse me, Ive held it in all day so Im going to cry while I listen to Into the West from LOTR.
Posted on: Wed, 24 Sep 2014 02:49:07 +0000
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