I was up and down all night. I know its because later today we have to close the door on Mommas casket and it will be the last time Ill ever see her. The thought of that scares me. In my 41 years there has never been more than a day pass without speaking to my Momma or 3 or 4 days pass with me seeing her. Except for maybe vacation even then I ran up expensive phone bills calling her. Ive worked side by side with my Mom and Sister for the last 16 years. So along with being my Momma, My co- worker shes been shes been a best friend. After today life has to resume. Im not sure how thats gonna work. Im very scared of living without her. Much like a child again. Ive spent the last few days talking out loud to my Momma. Im sure by now my children think Im crazy. But it has helped. My sister and I went to the funeral Home yesterday and spent time with her putting on her make- up and polishing her nails. People keep saying wasnt that hard and the answer to that is no that time with her was priceless. We talked to her about her clothes and hair. I assured her that her make-up was perfect. I didnt want to leave. And after visitation I found my self lingering around. Not wanting to leave again. I feel so blessed to have had her as my Momma. But selfish cuz I cant seem to let her go. I know that God and my Momma have given me strength to have gotten through the last few days. I pray they continue helping me through today and the unforeseen future. I also pray for my Dad, Sister Tracie and Brother Shane that they also stay strong. I know there hurting as much as me. My dad is gonna need the most attention. He lost his love, best friend and partner in life. God bless him its gonna be very tough. Well I could go on for days so Ill end here. Friends pray for my family today we are really gonna need it. Love you all so much.
Posted on: Thu, 31 Oct 2013 14:35:56 +0000
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