I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.” I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.My mother-in-law fell down a wishing well, I was amazed, I never knew they worked.There are two fish in a tank, and one says, “How do you drive this thing?”I slept like a log last night...Woke up in the fireplace.A sandwich walks into a bar. The barman says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, and asked, “Did you get my drift?”I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can’t get the cobwebs out of her hair.I was having dinner with World Chess Champion Garry Kasparov and there was a checkered tablecloth. It took him two hours to pass me the salt.I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything: trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself...
Posted on: Wed, 09 Oct 2013 02:25:16 +0000
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