I wish so badly that I could have been at Noahs funeral service today. His mom Amber asked if I could make a video slideshow for the service to remember sweet Noahs time on earth. What an honor. Everyone of these slideshows that I make rips a small bit of my heart out. So although I wasnt able to go and support a small piece of me is there. Each one of the loss of these babies pains my soul. The first baby funeral I ever went to was for Samuel and I felt somehow comforted that even though I felt terrible for his Mom Alicia, the world of heart moms was something I would never be a part of. Wrong. I soon learned that Christian would face the same challenges and I clung to the other heart moms. Then came Oskars passing while Christian was getting his second surgery in California. His mom Kristina is often in my prayers. She was such a dedicated mother to Oskar. I remember meeting him and being in awe of how adorable he was and thinking how great he looked. I gave her an baltic amber teething necklace for him to wear. When I look at Christians beads, I think about Oskar. Then Adrians passing Choo Choos Heart Travels ) taught me so much. Whenever Adrian was upset, his mother could pat his belly and calm him down. I thought about him today as I patted Christians tummy to get him to nap today. His mother Sam is about to have Adrians younger sister and his big brother Damario asked if they were going to bring Adrian home from the hospital when they brought his new baby sister home too. Then a few weeks later we attended the funeral for a long time friends sweet daughter Grace who was born with a rare chromosome disorder. My brave friend Cheryl carried Grace knowing that she would most likely not make it long due to congenital heart defects as well as other problems. Then tragedy struck our family as my husbands family loss sweet baby Gracie to SIDS. It was such a shock. We were supposed to be the ones with a fragile baby. Gracie was tiny and when you held her, it felt like you were just carrying the blanket she was wrapped in. She was such a sweet tiny angel. And now I find myself making another video. Noah has joined Samuel, Oskar, Adrian, Grace, and Gracie. And his mother Amber is among those who arms ache for their lost child. I am sustained only by the faith that this life is not the end. In Sunday School we recently studied the book of Job. One thing our teacher said that has really stuck with me is there are things that taken and there are things that can be lost. Although we have no control over things that can be taken we can guard that which can be lost. Things that can be taken are those of a temporal nature: our earthly wealth like our jobs, houses or our possessions.But those things dont go on after this life. Ive heard it said you dont hook a Uhaul up to a hearse because you cant take those things into the next life. Job also taught that your own health and the lives of your family can be taken. These earthly bodies are frail. They do not last forever. Job 19: 25-26 For I know that my redeemer liveth, and that he shall stand at the latter day upon the earth:And though after my skin worms destroy this body, yet in my flesh shall I see God It hurts more than anything to lose these babies. But there is one thing I will guard and that is my strong belief that this life is not the end. Families can be together forever. Heavenly Father has a plan for us. Instead of shaking my beliefs tragedy has only strengthened it. I pray that you may be able to feel the peace that I feel in the midst of the storm and the reassurance that I know I am a child of a loving Heavenly Father who knows my struggles and although he doesnt always take trials away, I know he helps us find our way through them. Dont lose hope. Goodbye for now Sweet Noah.
Posted on: Sat, 30 Aug 2014 17:00:00 +0000