I woke up this morning... At 5 am my fones alarm went on until it gotten a little bit irritating.. The TV was on the whole night... When i opened my eyes completely... And settled myself sitting on the bed.. Looking at my kids as they sleep... I realized something... For a long time i have been fighting the good fight and im doing it cuz i know i can.. I believed in what i can do.. In what i think is right.. In what i know i can make... But as i sit there... The only thing i felt was exhaustion... I just simply said.. Im tired... And i could not go on fighting.. Then I heard something... Good... Thats all i want to hear... I felt a chill on my skin... And I looked up... I could not understand what it was but.. I know that God spoke... I thought i would be in tears but what i felt was comfort and love.. Im conceding.. I know im strong i know im independent and god knows that too cuz thats what he made me to be.. Surrender was never a word known in my vocabulary.. Nor used in my house.. I always have a solution for everything... But what i didnt know is.. God has been with me all this time.. And i thought i have done all of it by my own.. Now i know it was not so.. He has been with me all the days of my life.. Smiling with me... Laughing with me.. And crying with me.. Even in my sorrows he hears my honest heart.. And in my sincere prayer.. I said... I am sorry.. For being stubborn.. Stupid and indifferent in the things u showed me.. I felt i can do anything.. I was wrong.. I thought i can make things happen.. I was wrong... I didnt acknowledge ur presence in my life the way that i should and i am sorry.. I thought im tough and all i need is my wit and intelligence and im good to go.. I didnt think of you god.. The way u protected inside and outside my home.. My prayers are all for my family and not for me.. Cuz i never thought i needed it.. But now... Im here looking up.. And praying.. My god and my life.. Im tired.. Fight the good fight for me.. Relieve me of my stress and release me from the hands of my foe.. I dont pray for the destruction or sorrow of the people that wants to harm me.. But i pray that they may see your light as i did today.. Turn from the lies that the world offers and be an instrument of truth and ur love.. Im tired lord.. Im exhausted.. And i surrender.. Fight the good fight... For me.. For im going to stand my ground.. For all your angels sing with me and your dear mother holds me in her embrace.. My strength could not sustain the weight on my shoulders and i dont have anymore clever antics to throw.. I relinquished the driving to u where u want my life to be.. For i will be triumphant., because of the blood your son has shed for me.. Thank you for being patient on waiting for this day to come cuz I SURRENDER... To your love your grace and your holiness.. Mama mary pray for me... Intercede for me to continue to surrender to your sons will.. In JESUS CHRIST OUR LORD AND SAVIOR... Amen
Posted on: Wed, 10 Dec 2014 05:05:38 +0000