I won’t give up Give up, that’s what the inner-self tells me. - TopicsExpress

I won’t give up Give up, that’s what the inner-self tells me. The once motivated person I used to be is still in there and knows better. I will and cannot let the enemy win they have taken enough from me, they take my sleep and terrorize me, they make me feel bad for what I have done and seen. They will not let me rest until I give in and let them control me. How do I stop them from tearing me down and laughing in my face? I do not know the answer to this question but I want to figure it out by myself for myself because that is what soldiers’ do. There are times when I think about all the other people like me, I have met Vietnam veterans’ who have been fighting PTSD for over 40 years by themselves. They have not given up and they are so sincere about helping the younger vets get through the rough days. I met a vet while I was in treatment in a PTSD program and he was an older vet from Vietnam, he was my room-mate and we talked all the time and the one thing he said to me is that “It is too late for me, but if I can help you than this is worth it”. I could not believe how much we were alike even though the age was so different. I talk about this man because it seemed at the time he had given up on himself because he has suffered for so many years all alone. One night I had a dream that I was being choked and I couldn’t breathe when I awoke he was standing right there to make sure I was ok and we talked about the dream and had some coffee over small talk after that. I was on my way out of the program at the nine week mark when he came to me one night, he handed me a bracelet that says “I make a difference”. I asked what this was for and he said “you know”, I had no clue as to what he was telling me. Then he looked at me and said “it is never too late, thank you”. I was in shock to realize that I actually made a difference in his life the same way he did to mine. I won’t give up, nor should any of my brothers’ and sisters’ in arms, change is possible. Author: Dustin A Lenzo

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