I would like to say im happy, but im not. in a little less then an hour jons gonna walk in, and be a giant butthole because the house is messy. hes gonna go straight to the bedroom to play on the computer for hours until he decides to go to bed. with the exception of he will be here to supervise the kids. (although i dont think he actually watches them, so that kinda scares me) while i go get the car fixed. which brings me to this, I dont want to go, id rather have jon take the car to go get it fixed. why? because the person fixing it does nothing but criticize me and make me feel like shit. which brings me to this factor. Thats pretty much how i have been treated by everyone that im really close to in my life. minus a few people. its always im fat, im lazy, im not good enough, im stupid. etc. Theres 2 people in this entire world that i would be absolutly thrilled if they aknowledged me in any way, but the first person is way to worried about money and her life to even give one ounce of care about you. and the other person, i dont even think wants to be in my life, How hard is it to tell your daughter your proud of her? in 24 years i havent heard it once.. not a single time. how hard is it to make your girlfriend feel like you want her there? like you want to be with her. obvioulsy either to hard or that feeling doesnt exist. So with that, im over everything. im just.. Done caring. done everything. im around my kids 24.7 and thats about it, yeah jons home 13 hours of the day but unless im talking to him directly and loud enough its like i dont exist in his world. then even when i do get a reaction its normally a will you just shut up. etc. one of the 2 friends that do come visit me, shes stuck in illinois. and as far as the other one. its been a while since she has come over. So as far as alicia, im trying to find her money to get back. $50 is all she needs apparently.
Posted on: Fri, 29 Aug 2014 22:11:55 +0000
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