IM SORRY...but this is all true...VENSUS AND MARS.... > Men Are Just Happier People -- > > What do you expect from such simple creatures? > > Your last name stays put. > > The garage is all yours. > > Wedding plans take care of themselves. > > Chocolate is just another snack. > > You can never be pregnant. > > You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. > > You can wear NO shirt to a water park. > > Car mechanics tell you the truth. > > The world is your urinal. > > You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one >is just too icky. > > You dont have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. > > Same work, more pay. > > Wrinkles add character. > > Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100. > > People never stare at your chest when youre talking to them. > > New shoes dont cut, blister, or mangle your feet. > > One mood all the time. > > Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. > > You know stuff about tanks. > > A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. > > You can open all your own jars. > > If someone forgets to invite you, > > He or she can still be your friend. > > Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. > > Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. > > Everything on your face stays its original color. > > The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades. > > You only have to shave your face and neck. > > You can play with toys all your life. > > One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons. > > You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. > > You can do your nails with a pocket knife. > > You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. > > You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives> > On December 24 in 25 minutes. > > ______________________________________> > > Men Are Just Happier People > > > > NICKNAMES > > If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other >Laura, Kate and Sarah. > > If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each >other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman. > > > > EATING OUT > > When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even >though its only for $32.50. > > None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit >they want change back. > > When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators. > > > > MONEY > > A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. > > A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need but its on sale. > > > > BATHROOMS > > A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving >cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. > > The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. A >man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. > > > > ARGUMENTS > > A woman has the last word in any argument. > > Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. > > > > FUTURE > > A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. > > A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. > > > > MARRIAGE > > A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. > > A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change, but she does. > > > > DRESSING UP > > A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, >answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. > > A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. > > > > > OFFSPRING > > Ah, children. > > A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist >appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears >and hopes and dreams. > > A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. > >
Posted on: Thu, 13 Mar 2014 03:35:48 +0000
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