IM STILL HAVING trouble with accepting what happened. I suffer from PTSD so when bad things happen my whole body acts as if Ive been through the past, all over again. Its like a terrible nightmare. I hope My GF is okay today. I havent spoken to her yet. She is hurting so much too. More so than I, I suppose. I feel like such a wimp because she is handling it way better than I am. Maybe its because I suffered the loss of my childhood and endured horrific abuse at the hands of those who were supposed to be caring for me [[ Foster parents ]] but instead they abused me in every category of abuse that there is and they often tortured me horrifically. I often can relate to the MK Ultra survivors testimonial books such as Thanks for the memories by Brice Taylor files.meetup/562554/Brice%20Taylor%20-%20Thanks%20for%20the%20memories.pdf and Cathy Obriens Tranceformation of America static.everdot.org/ebooks/english/Cathy_OBrien__Mark_Philips_-_Trance_Formation_of_America_MKULTRA_-_1995.pdf because they say that the reason they have photographic memory is because while they were being programmed they endured torture so that they could photographically remember what they were to tell the President, VP or some other awaiting delegate. Then, when they were to recall the information they would be tortured so that it would come back to them in photographic detail and they coould relat whateve message it waas that they had to relay to them. They were used essentially as human computers. They even had kill modes installed in the multi-compartments of their young minds, whereas if someone else tried to get the information out of them, then they would have an overwhelming compulsion to kill themselves or to self-destruct. Derren Brown, a famous man who often shows off the spectacular power of the mind in his show Mind Control, demonstrated this technique several times of which Ill post the link in comments below, so, this really is something that is not science fiction but TRUE and now I seem to be having similar flashbacks. I once saw a burning building in Hartford with the people jumping from the top floors to their deaths rather than being burned alive...I can see it in my mind like it was yesterday. So,this all brings back the floodgates of memories Ive suppressed for years. I trust in Father Yah to help me get through it all. I cant eat, I cant sleep, I cant smile... Im so sad for My GF and the pets. Its breaking my insides to pieces. Please Father Yah help Me !! Anyways, maybe this is why I keep having flashbacks of the images of the poor pets who died in the fire and I keep seeing them all surrounding me so happy to see me and now theyre gone and its all just like a nightmare ... I hate this part of me, I just want to stop crying over it. I love animals so much, especially cats and now theyre gone. Ive prayed and prayed and prayed for Father to help comfort me. MY answer was There is no getting over it unless you go THROUGH it. So, please continue to pray for MY GF first, she needs it more than I do since she lost all she has for the most part, then, please, I could use your prayers too. I feel almost selfish because it wasnt my house but I did come to adore those pets so very much. I would spoil them every day. Isnt that what they are for? I am so saddened that Ill never see them again and the thought of them going through that terrible ordeal just wont leave me alone it keeps coming to the forg=front of my thoughts. I cant watch television because as soon as I see a cat or dog then I break out crying. The meds my doctor gave me barely help. I pray that Father helps Us to get over this as soon as possible, Thanks for being here for me. I Love You All-Peace,Love and many Blessings. Take Care.
Posted on: Tue, 04 Mar 2014 14:55:17 +0000
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