IMPORTANT ADVERTISEMENT!! Dear Akwa Ibom Politicians, I write to formally inform you that by the special grace of God I have formally opened 3 RICE WAREHOUSES here in the state. In line with the principle of equity and fairness which has become the predominant ideals expected to guide the decisions and actions of every player in the Akwa Ibom state Political scene, I have decided to spread my 3 RICE WAREHOUSES across the 3 Senatorial districts in the state. My decision to invest in the RICE BUSINESS was informed by the strong premonition that when the WINDOW OF THE CURRENT FISTICUFFS BY WAY OF OPEN LETTERS CLOSES, AND THE BELL IS SOUNDED, SIGNALLING THE END OF THE INCESSANT MUDSLINGING CURRENTLY GOING ON NOW, each of you might need some bags of rice to ease your task of trying to brainwash us to vote for you. As a keen followers of political happenings around the country, each one of you may have discovered that rice is now the bait for the Nigerian electorates. RICE, WHEN USED AS A BAIT AS IT WAS RECENTLY DONE IN EKITI STATE AND CURRENTLY IN OSUN STATE, HAS THE MAGICAL CAPABILITY TO SHATTER THE STRONG WALLS OF ETHNICITY AND RELIGIOUS AFFILIATIONS, COLLAPSING THE ELECTORATES INTO A SINGLE INDIVISIBLE ENTITY WITH A HERD MENTALITY. So, if you hope to win, giving out rice as inducement is your best bet (BAIT). Therefore, in order to save you from the hassles of traveling to Aba, or perhaps making the grave mistake of entrusting your hard-earned money to an aide who might have been waiting for a great opportunity to abscond with your POLITICAL CAPITAL, I have decided to take a RICE WAREHOUSE closer to you. Christened Borono Bassey RICE REPUBLIC, in these 3 warehouses, I have in stock High quality rice brands such as MAMA GOLD, AFRICAN PRIDE, LA JONIC, MAMA AFRICA, KITCHEN PRIDE, PEOPLES CHOICE among others. We also brand bags of rice with FACES OF ASPIRANTS so as to guard against the usual MISTAKE OF EATING GOVERNOR FAYEMIS RICE AND MISTAKING IT FOR GOVERNOR FAYOSES RICE, on the part of the electorates. *** FOR POLITICIANS WHO ARE THE IBIBIOS OF EKET, You can purchase your rice at my warehouse, BORONO BASSEY RICE REPUBLIC, No 25 GRACE BILL ROAD EKET. *** For POLITICIANS WHO ARE THE IBIBIOS OF IKOT EKPENE, Borono Bassey RICE REPUBLIC is at No 165 Chubb Road, Ikot Ekpene. *** For POLITICIANS WHO ARE THE IBIBIOS OF UYO, My rice shop is located at No 45 Udo Umana street, Uyo. For the moment, Let me not allow all of you to concentrate on the herculean task of racking your brains in search of the right words to use in smearing your opponents in your next open letter. Remember, THE CANDIDATE WHO WINS THE RICE WAR USUALLY CARRIES THE DAY AT THE POLL. Include PURCHASE OF BAGS OF RICE FOR MY VOTERS AT BORONO BASSEY RICE REPUBLIC as one of your important campaign strategies. Best Wishes. Borono Bassey, MD/CEO, BORONO BASSEY RICE REPUBLIC.
Posted on: Wed, 30 Jul 2014 12:24:42 +0000