INEVITABLE REFLECTION With the approaching culmination of the “big move” into my new home, I am awash with a vast array of emotions and the inevitable reflection on this new phase of my life. We affectionately call it “downsizing” because it is a literal, physical reduction of space to occupy and then the decisions as to what items will be tossed and which will be spared as I negotiate my way into the new, smaller residence a whole three blocks away from my home of the past twenty years. The entire process is a choice I have made, but it is a process which has required me to confront my life in the starkest of terms, simply stated where I have been and where I am headed. It has been a remarkably pleasant confrontation. Admittedly, there have been some rather poignant and jarring moments, like the day I found the wig Peg purchased to wear when her hair really did fall out following her rounds of chemotherapy after she learned that she had breast cancer. (Eventually, Peg shunned the wig in favor of her baldness, but at the time, the hairless look was unsettling to many people and there was a wedding in her family for which she so desperately wanted to try to look as much like the “old Peg” as possible.) But, I must confess that the process has been a (Dare I say it?) fun rediscovery of the lives of my children and the lives of that couple you know as Peg and Don Keelan-White embodied in a treasure trove of pictures and things and memories—and smiles. While I understand full well that “People are more important than things”, and that “You can’t take it with you”, it is the “things” I have been uncovering, item after item after item that have reconnected me with the two little boys that grew up in our house and with the magic of childhood that they shared with their Mom and Dad. And while you would be hard-pressed to find anyone who loves Christmas more than I do, I have discovered Christmas plates and Christmas décor that I never even knew existed, things she had tucked away for a “some day” Christmas meal. Just yesterday, I even discovered a silver service coffee pitcher and serving tray she had placed under Evan’s bed, and I don’t have the foggiest idea who it must have belonged to once upon a time, somebody on her side of the family or somebody on my side of the family. The baby bottles, the toys, the vestiges of Boy Scouting, vacations, school projects, graduations, birthday cards, Mother’s Day cards and Father’s Day cards, Christmas, and picture after picture of two adorable, lovable, huggable little guys, some with their Mom, beaming proudly by their sides—all of which have left me with an undeniable sense of utter fulfillment and gratitude. I am moving into my new home without Peg, but I have been so blessed with her presence in my life that it is now a necessary, and important, and exciting step for me to take, knowing that all of you who know me share in that excitement. This thing called “moving” has refocused my life on the significance of what I have: two wonderful, handsome sons (please forgive my partiality) and an immeasurable store of memories to carry with me long after some of the items the four of us acquired along the way are discarded. Life is good.
Posted on: Sat, 27 Jul 2013 19:09:08 +0000
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