IT IS STILL A SMALL WORLD… A lady once told me that she would not let her present circumstances (setbacks) influence her choice of a marriage partner. Rather-her choice of a marriage partner will be influenced by where she is going(her ambitions/hope). I really wish every one of us would settle with a similar mindset…as we consider‘settings’ (in relationships) that we ordinarily would not think of…had things been rosier. I think Nelson Mandela captured it aptly when he said ‘’may your choices reflect your hopes-not your fears’’. I noticed a reluctance of sorts in HER-as I sent a young man that I was so sure she would grab with both hands-her way. When I sought to know what her reasons were, it happened that they have met before through the efforts of a paid match maker and …read her story below. ‘’My dear,I met Alex (NOT HIS REAL NAME)online early last year to be precise. He told me how he wanted to get married by Easter of that year, I believed him, thinking he was real. Meanwhile one LOVE COACH told me that he has a friend that he would like to connect me with and that the man wanted a working class lady… only for the LOVE COACH to send Alex’ pix exactly the way you did. My dear, I know you will say that was enough to open my eyes but you see, I couldnt stop my heart. This young man came all from the way from Lagos to Abuja to see me. He slept in my house, I really took care of him, though I wasnt so buoyant then but I made the sacrifice just to make him happy. Hmmm, beloved Sis,Alex left me shattered because I had no job. Do you know he came to Abuja without anything for me and left same way? When I tried to reach him on phone after he had left, he became abusive. Well, he ended up making me stronger. Hes interested now because of the job’’ As far as I am concerned, the guy hasn’t done much wrong here. He showed his seriousness by keeping up with a contact that he was introduced to but he apparently got there and realized that what he saw isn’t what he wanted and he left the same way he came. I only blame him for being unable to manage the situation when our lady began to call (pester?)him on the phone. He should have simply told her that he needs some time to think things through…a wise lady SHOULD NOT miss the real import of this. He didn’t have to use uncouth words on her…what if this was a job placement(that he needs badly) and this same lady (that he insulted) happens to be the HR personnel? It’s a very small world…YOU CAN MISBEHAVE TODAY-IF ONLY YOU WILL BE READY TO FACE THE CONSEQUENCES TOMORROW. LADIES…once a guy you met or had a date with fails to keep in touch-PLEASE DELETE HIS NUMBER(after ascertaining that he got home safely). Don’t go pestering him with phone calls…it really can IRRITATE some men and it makes you seem desperate. I can’t say this enough…A MAN MUST NOT PROPOSE MARRIAGE ONCE HE MEETS YOU. It doesn’t work that way…you guys have to get to know each other a bit and he has to like what he saw. Whoever you are introduced to, has the right to WALK-after meeting you and you are not what he/she wants. It really is nothing for anybody to take personal. Finally,If someone makes a SPECIFICATION(e.g. MUST BE EMPLOYED,MUST BE WITHIN CERTAIN AGE BRACKET etc.)…please do not come forward except you meet their criteria…it makes things less awkward. Rather, explain your REALITY to the match maker…he/she will be in a better position to negotiate some BENDING BACKWARDS from the other party-if necessary.
Posted on: Tue, 30 Sep 2014 04:31:53 +0000
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