If you ever testify in court, you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the policemans credibility.... Q: Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene? A: No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away. Q: Officer -- who provided this description? A: The officer who responded to the scene. Q: A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust your fellow officers? A: Yes, sir. With my life. Q: With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties? A: Yes sir, we do! Q: And do you have a locker in the room? A: Yes sir, I do. Q: And do you have a lock on your locker? A: Yes sir. Q: Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers? A: You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room. The courtroom erupted in laughter, and a prompt recess was called. AY-AH Gotta Love Them Mainers John the owner of a golf course in Maine was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary, Carol for some mathematical help. He called Carol into his office and said, You graduated from the University of Maine, and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? Carol thought a moment, then replied, Everything but my earrings. You gotta love those women from Maine . ============================================ A group of Maine friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day.That night, one of the hunters Rufe returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. Wheres Joe Jones? the others asked. Joe had a stroke of some kind. Hes a couple of miles back up the trail, the successful Rufe replied. You left Joe laying out there and carried the deer back? they inquired A tough call, nodded Rufe. But I figured no one is going to steal Joe! ============================================ Regarding the year 2000, Beth a United States Postal worker was overheard saying when the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Maine . When asked why, she stated that everything happens here 20 years later than the rest of the civilized world. ============================================== The young Mainer came running into the store and said to his buddy,Alvin, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot! Alvin replied, Did you see who it was? The young fella answered, I couldnt tell, but I got the license plate number. ============================================== NEWS FLASH! - Eustis, Maine----- Maines worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by Arkie & Edna, crashed into a cemetery earlier today in Eustis Maine search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. Arkie & Edna survived and are helping in the recovery efforts. ============================================== And my personal favorite: A Maine State trooper pulled over a pickup on route 302. The trooper asked, Got any ID? Bruce replied, Bout whut?
Posted on: Sat, 30 Nov 2013 18:41:09 +0000