If youve ever doubted your calling/purpose in life or the leadership of your ministers, this is something to consider... For the last 20-some-odd years Ive been involved in ministry. It isnt to say that Im the most qualified to fulfill the duties asked, but simply to say that Ive been doing this work for a long time. In the beginning it was fun and exciting because there was always the unknown: who would show up to church, how many people would be attending our concerts, where would we end up next, etc. Its been a great journey and through it all Ive made a lot of mistakes. Whether it was something I said wrong or something I didnt say at all ... whether it was how my attitude was or how I treated someone that didnt deserve that kind of treatment ... whether relationships were involved or friendships hung on the edge of no longer existing because of something I said or felt - yeah, Ive made a LOT of mistakes. Many people dont know this, but there were countless amounts of times that I almost gave up on the ministries I was a part of. Disputes among leadership responsibilities, accountability, lack of spirituality and as always, different interpretations of doctrine as well as its practice. Moments seemed to decide whether or not I was even going to remain a Christian because of how I may have been rubbed the wrong way and because of that, Id push the friction right back. Kind of weird hearing that from me because Im not usually that kind of a guy. However, when it is something that Im passionate about, I will push back. So what was it that kept me going? Simple: Jesus. I look back at miracles and lessons that I was blessed with during some of the most trying times in my spiritual experience. Often times Id curse God, not with profane language, but with doubt and discontentment. I figured the people in the Bible did it and THEY survived, why not me? But in each time that I cursed the Lord and in each time that I was about to throw in the towel, I was reminded of a few words, Where were you when I laid the foundations of earth? Tell Me, id you have understanding. Who determined its measurements? Surely you know! Or who stretched the line upon it? To what were its foundations fastened? Or who laid its cornerstone, When the morning stars sang together, And all the sons of God shouted for joy? ... Have you commanded the morning since your days began and caused the dawn to know its place that it might take hold of the ends of the earth, and the wicked be shaken out of it? (Job 38) My complaints was were Jesus had to remind me, in a lovingly firm way, that He knows best. Questions began to come to remembrance as he brought these thoughts to my mind, Did you ever wonder how it was that your mom was able to work two jobs and put you and your brothers through school ... ? How was it that you were able to study and retain the information that you asked ME to help you with ... ? Who was with you at every step of your mourning when your grandpa went to sleep in Me ... ? Ever wonder how it was that you fell asleep at the wheel many times and you were never injured or seriously injured someone else ... ? Did you think that those songs you wrote that reached out to people were from your own doing ... ? Do you remember the peace you asked Me for when you were injured and I sent you people to visit ... ? Vasa, were you ever in immediate danger of starvation or poverty ... ? How is it that you were surrounded by violence and never managed to even have a bullet touch your home ... ? When your heart was broken, do you remember WHO WOKE YOU UP THIS MORNING AND WATCHED OVER YOU LAST NIGHT AS YOU SLEPT ... ? These thoughts and so many more were given to me and are still given to me when I doubt the work of God. It always serves to show that Jesus still loves me and never stops loving me. The reminders, though they may seem harsh to some reading this, are Christs way to reconnect with me when Ive got my hand on the cord ready to pull the plug on Him. Ultimately, it serves to remind me that it isnt God who is failing - its me. I walk away from Jesus ... I choose sin ... I uplift the world ... and because of that, I get hurt. Yeah, I have an i problem and it probably isnt for the best. But, praise God for second, third, fourth, fifteenth, 100th chances because its in this that I come to realize that I need help. Ministry work is not easy. Period. It may seem to be that way when people see me onstage or hear me online. But people dont know that deep within this armor, the warrior is a child. Ministry work is stressful and time consuming and can be downright frustrating. But to serve ... I LOVE to serve. I love sharing what Jesus did in my life. I love sharing what Jesus is doing in the lives of others. I love spending time with fellow believers in laughter and in song. I love to see miracles happen in places where even the very elect would not think they could. I love to tell the story of Jesus and His glory. I love to serve my Master who selfishly left HIS Kingdom to come to my hell and carry my affliction ... compared to that, my worries and my complaints and selfishness is nothing. Even though it is nothing, Jesus still hears what I have to say and simply LOVES ME RIGHT BACK TO HIM. I want to be more like Him and I want to be more like that. I want to tell MORE people about ... and it is in THAT moment that I am reminded why I gave my heart to Jesus and promised to serve Him and lift Him up above anything and anyone else. Ministry work is not easy, but loving Jesus IS. Because I love Him, Ill continue doing what I can when I can for whomever I can for as long as I can. This entry isnt to brag or to boast. This entry isnt to gain sympathy or even a reaction out of any of you who are reading this. This is simply to share with you that Jesus can do absolutely ANYTHING, but fail. If youre going through a similar time - know that you are not alone and there is HOPE in restoration with Christ. ~S. Laupati
Posted on: Mon, 24 Mar 2014 19:42:04 +0000
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