Ill admit.. and will be the first person to say, yes ive been a bully... and I take responsibility for that, and realize that I was wrong in so many situations.. I wish I could take back 80 percent of the things ive said in my life... Ive put others down.. made people feel worthless... and I regret it so much... I try my best to live life with no regrets.. but the one regret I do have, is making other people feel like I did at so many points.. I remember in grade 7, I shaved my head, kinda like miley cyrus? well it looked like crap and I got bullied and got called lesbian and told I looked like a guy etc.. so I wanted to change it... I died it black.. got called casper... I was chunky in grade 8, so I refused to eat and developed an eating disorder... then I got called too skinny, so I started eating again, over eating... my entire life, Ive based myself on other peoples opinions.. on societys view of me.. I hate being disliked by people, so I try to please everyone... but there came a time, where I realized you cant please everyone.. you have to go through life with your head held high... and worry about pleasing yourself... my goal to lose weight, its not about losing it to impress anyone anymore.. its about losing it for myself, to be comfortable in my own skin... My entire life Ive lived insecure... I knew very early on that I was bi.. and I lived my entire life telling no one until last year.. living with that feeling, that if I told people who I was they would hate me.. its ridiculous.. its the worst feeling ive ever had.. high school really scared the shit out of me... my literal thought was great, another place where I can feel worthless... ive changed so much over this last year.. made so many new friends and realized the kinda person I wanna be... sorry for ranting... but I had to get this all off my chest
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 15:26:41 +0000
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