Im feeling a way this morning. Im feeling a little raw and exposed. Honesty can be a very lonely path at times. Theres these chapters in life where I find more than one person disappears at a time. I wont call it a loss though. During these stages there is an odd and silent grief period, in which I question myself. Impossible to always be right so what did I do wrong that was undeserving of the proper communication or conversation? Then sometimes I realize its this path thats been choosen for me since my spirit chose this life. Im learning most people want to be lied to for their benefit, so we lie, and each lie strips away our value. We lie to ourselves and others because its an easy path. And when I find myself slipping I jump off the path and start to walk the dirt road assuming the people who say they love me or they are intrigued and want to learn more or they are my friend or a lover or family, will join. I tell the truth because I value people. I value lives. I believe they are deserving. I value you. And oddly enough ... I dont receive the same in return. I enjoy raw honesty, not hard, just full disclosure. Something so freeing about it. Takes a while sometimes, but nonetheless I choose it. And most often than not, when I give people this they question me and turn their back on me. Not all, but its happened enough. And through this process I realize how wrong I was regarding a persons intentions...how foolish I was to think that maybe ....just maybe. But then I realize in so many humans there are these dirty demons called insecurity, selfishness, unconsciousness and doubt. Its not my truths that are the issue. Its the fact that you have built so many walls and lies around you - you know if you jump on the path less travelled you have too much to lose from the lies youve built. And youre comfortable (or so you think) in those lies. And you dont value me enough to support honesty. But I value me. So Im left alone in my footsteps. Im attaching these words to a song that represents my core and what I offer to those around me. All I know is one love. I am made of air and driven by water. I believe in humanity and even when you dont believe in you .. so you say you dont believe in me ... I will always believe in both of us. So question me all you want. Im an open book. My chapters have been written while you keep yours hidden in fear of being exposed.
Posted on: Sat, 06 Dec 2014 12:03:22 +0000
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