Im getting a root canal this afternoon. Havent been this relieved about going to the dentist EVER -- the pain has become so unbelievably excruciating that words are insufficient to describe it. This is the price of dental phobia: the horrible, vicious cycle, wherein I avoid going to the dentist because of my terror of dentistry... And inevitably, invariably end up needing painful procedures because I avoided it too long. And that painful procedure enforces my terror, so I put it off again the next time... And so on. Its been this way my whole life. I get into a dentists chair and begin crying. The sounds of drilling in the next room produce in me a visceral, PTSD-like reaction. Its actually this way with any medical procedure that involves having metal objects inside me. There is a reason, and I cant explain it on FB. But it is PTSD, going back decades. At any rate... If Im going to the dentist, you know its bad. And GOD, is it bad right now. I cant see straight, it hurts so much. Painkillers, antibiotics, cloves, anbesol : NOTHING is touching this pain. Its like this one tooth has become the centre of my existence, and its a searing, throbbing centre of hell on earth. I would tear it out by its roots if I could; the ludicrous vanity that prevented choosing extraction in the first place has long since been replaced by a desperation to make this stop by any means necessary. My afternoon is going to SUCK. I have an incredibly high tolerance for novocaine. They wont believe me until they poke me multiple times and I convince them that yes, I CAN STILL FEEL IT. And then theres the initial shot, which is going to hurt so badly Ill scream. Oh, god... Already crying in anticipation of this. Or am I crying because it hurts so terribly? Both.
Posted on: Tue, 03 Jun 2014 13:01:51 +0000
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