Im going to be different today and express myself on Facebook. So - TopicsExpress

Im going to be different today and express myself on Facebook. So here goes..... Tomorrow starts my workout day. Im not that happy about how I turned from 150 pounds to 200 pounds in about 3 years. Though my excuse is valid being that I worked during school and earned a bachelors in 3 years and still managed to keep my sanity, to study abroad, and to provide for myself..... not to mention managing to keep a steady and happy relationship for almost 5 years. Part two of my plan is to meet more people. I need to socialize more like having coffee, going for a run, going shopping, or even have spa day. I just dont do that club stuff. Part three is to start seeking partnership with a serious guy. You know.... someone kind, handsome, educated, hard working, employed, believes in God and family, committed, and who believes that women are equal to men. That doesnt sound like a lot does it? But anyway... yeah thatt where Im at in my life. I feel like all my life I have done what people have expected of me, and now I have a chance to do what I want. Idk if it is because Im about to turn 22 or the point that I feels like a new change is due in my life, but I feel I need more control in my life. In childhood I was taught how to be a lady,to respect yourself, to get an education, and to never depend of a man. In high school I applied those skills while boringly watching other fall in love and have romantic relationships, but with Gods grace I found whom I believed to be the love of my life. That didnt work out but oh well. It happens. Were still best friends though. In college I focused on education and my career. In the mix I met two amazing friends and experimented with different hair styles. Ultimately I stayed my cautious steady self. Oh... I forgot... I traveled to England, Ireland, and Norway.... that was fun, but of course I always found a way to take a few classes to keep my focus. Now I again am working on my career and making the move to a new phase in my life. And the only man in my life is my pet fish (guppy) Louise (though he is a male I just liked the name because he reminded me of Louise from Bobs Burgers). Its all about me now, and I want to continue advancing myself and to have fun (in my safe, planned way of course, but fun never the less). Well I think thats all. I will say that I still reminisce of those moments in high school when times were less stressful.... probably because I was comfortable in my surrounding and I didnt have to pay for stuff. Idk, I think I reminisce to reflect on the old me for inspiration for the new me. I mean if you think about it the world is hard and scary. Every advance you make in life rather its speaking in public, or getting married, or even moving away from family to advance your career, it leaves you vulnerable and scared. I admit that sometimes it takes me going back home and sitting on the porch and shedding a tear while gazing at the waterfall to really settle my nerves and say: Rahmana, its going to be ok. Life is hard, but you will never give up. Thats what makes all this worth it. Everything is happening exactly how God planned it, so just enjoy the moment and keep moving forward. Everything happens for a reason. I know this is a lot of random stuff. I just felt like reflecting a moment. Im not perfect. Im far from it. Im lonely, but accomplished. Im sane, but not physically fit (but healthy). Im stressed, but secure.... BUT IM ME AND IM HAPPY. AND FOR THAT IM TRULY BLESSED.