Im going to do a little multi-tasking in church against the back wall as I listen to this insanely attractive guy preach about God and Jesus on 3 plasma screen tvs. My new Facebook profile was not created to chew people out or hurt anyones feelings. I just want to post positive things such as photos and humorous statuses. Im frankly sick and tired of defending myself and being labeled as a drama queen when I am just trying to speak my mind and stand up for myself. Every day I wake up and try and mind my own business, but then other people instigate text or msg battles and poke and prod into my business. Its quite exhausting. Yes, you guys are absolutely right when you say I am dramatic. Keep in mind that I am pregnant and have several mental disorders with no medications...HOW many times do I have to repeat myself??? Im tired of coming off as though Im wallowing in a pity party! I am just trying to get through to those who care enough to interrupt my life on the daily what kind of fragile condition I am in. And its no wonder I repeat myself so often because nobody seems to listen!!! It has literally driven me to the point of insanity and is a partial reason why Ive spent the past 4 year in looney bins. Well I dont have the energy or sanity to chew out every single person that comes at me with their negative two cents. Quite frankly, my life is no ones business. I am guilty of giving society the power to dictate my life and I am guilty of putting myself out there to be judged or ridiculed on social media. Its crazy because in high school I was a shy, reserved, quiet art geek that never left the art studio. Nowadays, I rock cherrybomb red hair, am smothered in tattoos, and have a mouth that can run forever like a freight rain just begging to not only be looked at, but most importantly listened to. My whole life I was pushed aside and treated as though I was invisible. Well now I have important, truthful thing to say. And I only run my mouth at those who instigate drama with me first. Im very hurt that I had to disown my own brother today over the Internet. He was one of my greatest role models and I have always looked up to him. I also have disowned my own father. Called him childish and idiotic and cruel for emotionally abandoning me when I need him most. Go back to the psychward, Lilly so he said to me. Ive been locked up in mental institutions for four years now with countless pills shoved down my throat and look at what good thats done me. I need my family and friends to be there for me and not drags down. Im exhausted from being curb-stomped to death when Im already bloody, broken, and bruised on the sidewalk. Well its time I stand up once again and brush the dirt off my face and carry on with my life like everyone else should. Were all in a struggle to survive. You will get hurt. Those you love will make you cry. But as cruel as life can be it is still beautiful. And life is worth it. And thats not something church taught me tonight. Thats something I taught myself and just want to share with the world.
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 03:11:43 +0000
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