Im really hoping for everyones attention for just 3 minutes, please. Im having nightmarish flashbacks from the 8th grade. Theres nothing funny about this & Im not exaggerating or joking one tiny bit. Its like the whole world just about knows that I used to be a drug addict, but next to no one knows how hard 8th grade was for me. I got bullied, I was a nerd because I was a competitive swimmer...even though if I was a star at soccer, volleyball or basketball then Id automatically have been in the popular group. But not with swimming. I looked awkward as hell, but who doesnt look awkward around 12/13/14 years old? All I did was try to play to the cool kids & acted like somebody I wasnt & all that did was make me more depressed. I remember meeting with a therapist, I remember begging my mom to keep me home from school, I remember HATING school dances because to this day I get random flashbacks whenever I hear Never gonna get it by EnVogue because of some popular boys (whom shall remain anonymous) who approached me at a school dance, asked me to hang and when I obliged, they started singing that song to me while pointing, laughing and almost aggressively surrounding me, as I was bright red, crying and dying inside, as if they were reminding me that I would never gonna get it, never gonna get it, never never, never ever... get an actual boyfriend because I was inferior and everything that could be wrong with me, was. Well, for the first time publicly Ive decided to share that THAT was the very first panic attack that I experienced of thousands & thousands to come. Yes, I gave you all that detail because YES I remember every detail, every word, every sound & every thought from that day in 1994 as if it just happened today. Why am I sharing all this you ask? Because I just watched this heart-wrenching video youre about to see. No, thankfully I was never a cutter like this brave young boy; but I DO remember the 8th grade in ways that no one should ever know. I only gave you that one heinous example, but please trust me, there were countless others. I just wanted to share one of the most harmful events to prove to you that I can DEFINITELY relate to this poor kids agony. But you know what? At his young age he is much stronger than I ever couldve dreamed of when I was 13. He has HOPE because he has COURAGE. He has STRENGTH because he has SELF-AWARENESS. Im more than double this boys age, and yet he is a hero to me. To this unknown boy in this brave video of his Id only like to say THANK YOU for uncovering the reality of the middle school years, or as millions of people like me remember them as: pure hell. With a new school year rapidly approaching I have just one favor to ask of you: If you can relate to any of the emotions, experiences or feelings that this boy is experiencing, please share this video to bring further awareness to bullying & the pain that goes along with it. Thanks so much for listening to my soapbox... ❤️
Posted on: Wed, 06 Aug 2014 06:27:49 +0000
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