Im so desperate to restore my relationship w God.... Im sick of living only to die, sick of the torture of waking up every day when I beg for death all night, sick of the self hatred, sick of the fear and anxiety of good, eating, and weight, sick of the self-imposed isolation and loneliness.... Last year, feeling god run through my veins, being able to be FREE for the first time in my life from my eating disorders, to start to feel love and worth for myself for the FIRST time in my whole life, to be free of the all consuming desire for death and destruction for the FIRST time since I was a little girl... God is the way, the truth, and the life... I lost myself in a way that I didnt think was possible again,,, but I am the daughter of the Most High God, the King of Kings, the Lover of my soul, the Redeemer and Healer of Broken Hearts... I beg for Him to take me back when I know that He never left me... I beg to be forgiven and feel overwhelming guilt for praying for myself, destroying myself in attempts to pay my way through life, when I KNOW that He has already paid the price. He gave it all for me, and that His mercies are new every single day, not because He has to, but because He LOVES me. Time to move on. Time to fight again..
Posted on: Wed, 23 Apr 2014 00:33:25 +0000
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