Im thinking about a lot tonight. Thinking about how my life has changed in the last ten months. Thinking that I could have never done it without you. When you came into my life, it was spontaneous and unexpected from both of our parts. We were perceived as complete opposites and people did not think we would last. When you sent me that message on February 11th, asking if Id like to talk more, I about jumped out of the seat on the bus. I was beyond excited that you even acknowledged my existence. Then in the next few days, Valentines Day had came around. Neither one of had Valentines so we decided to be each others. I remember you had work and I was at Shooters Ed. I was practically floating on air that night. Then late on the fifteenth, you asked me to be yours. I, of course, was hesitant, thinking about every possible thing. I was thinking what if your friend dont like me because Im country, what if my friend dont like you because you arent country, how are we going to combine two completely different social cliches in a place like Hannibal. But, I took a shot in the dark and said yes. I had never made a decision like this. It was such a easy decision but I knew people would judge us. And of course, they did. People, my friends included, didnt think this was going to last. They thought it was just a phase. That I had to have a bad boy. That was not the case. I still remember after every pe block I had, wed meet at the stairs by the elevator. Youd give be the cutest smile then Id be smiling like a fool all the way to my next block. I remember the first time we met in person. I was so shy and my stomach was in knots. I knew at that moment, that this would be one of the best decisions in my life. Remember when Hallbauer would always yell at us? Haha, she still doesnt like me. The first month was tough with people spreading drama. All this drama broke out on our one month and i thought it was over with. But, we pushed through becoming even stronger. (Ides of March;) ) Within a few months of us dating, I knew I loved you and I wanted so bad to tell you, but didnt. We finally got talking about it, and you felt the same. I said I love you first, and you said it back. My heart literally felt like it was going to explode with happiness. When you graduated in May, I thought this would end. You were headed off to new and better things, and you wouldnt want done 16 year old sophomore holding you back. But, instead, our relationship grew even more. On the Fourth of July, you spent the day with my family. And survived. That night sitting on the levee we literally covered every subject. I knew then that you were my best friend. The following day you went to the car show with my family. It wasnt much of a car show, so we changed plans and went out to eat pushing our movie date back, then Walmart. While looking at CDs, I started having an allergic reaction to something I had eaten. I was having trouble breathing but didnt go to the hospital. We took you home and then headed home ourselves. When we got home I still was having trouble breathing, so I went to the hospital. All I remember is I had an alligator on my finger and I wanted MY Esai. You kept texting me all the way through my hospital experience, even through my texts that made no sense whatsoever. The following day I felt a little better, so we went on our movie date. We saw the Lone Ranger. That was our first technical date. My first date ever haha. We spent the summer hanging out, you trying to corrupt me with your metal music, and becoming even stronger. The ending of July, you text me saying a National Guard recruiter had called you and you were interested. A short while later you were sworn in. August 6th. I was so proud. Beyond proud. I knew it was gonna be tough and I accepted it full heartedly. I wasnt going to let go. The weekend of the Baker family reunion, I had wanted you to come so you could meet my family and spend time with me before school started, but you had drill. August 15-16. I felt so alone and was down for most of the weekend because I couldnt talk to you. Especially since August 15 was our 6 month anniversary. But you came back extremely happy and I knew that Id have to get used to you being gone. Later that week, we had our second date, The Conjuring. School had started and I began to dreaded the fact that you were leaving the 30th of October. The day you were supposed to leave came in a hurry. I stayed at your house until late that night and was back at your house at 2 am just so I could spend time with you. You left later that morning around 5. I tried being strong because I didnt want to show you that I was weak. After giving you that last hug, I tried holding on to you, but you said you had to leave so I told you I loved you one last final time and slowly got into the car with your parents. Watching the car you were in disappear into the distance broke me to pieces. I had never wanted so bad to curl up in a ball, but your parents pulled me through that morning and are still pulling me through the days. Its been over a month since I last saw you and I miss you like crazy. In 18 days, we will soon be reunited for the holidays. During that time, well get to spend our first Chrismas together, Ill turn 17, and well spend our first New Years together. Then Ill have to say see you soon again, and youll leave once again, only this time, youll be gone for 4 months. I wish I could give you a kiss and a hug good night but I cannot. So this is me giving you your kiss and hug good night (redeemable in 18 days). I love you Esai. With all my heart and soul. Good night my love.
Posted on: Mon, 02 Dec 2013 05:56:47 +0000
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