In an earlier post today I said that I would share about a situation that I experienced at convention this past week. I also posted that I am not too keen on posting negative commentary but I feel that this should be shared. The Rosen Center resort, our convention venue, is a beautiful hotel that boasts fine dining, shops, a spa and many many more amenities. Their staff is very accomodating and are always ready and available to answer any questions and or point you in the right direction of where you want to go. One day, during a lunch break from general session, I visited Cafe Gaugin. One of our SAAVI students joined me for lunch. It was wonderful. The food and company were just as exceptional. On our way out I asked my student to continue conversation so as to follow her out to the entrance. She stopped her conversation and my timed distance indicated that I was near. I must have veered less than 30 degrees from the entrance and ended up directly in front of a table. I imagined this table to be one of those horseshoe shaped booths as I felt no chair with my cane. At any rate, I realized I was off. This before the laughter. Yes, the seated individuals laughed outright at me. They sneered, they laughed and they dripped with sarcasm while telling me Hey, youre not where you should be Oh and they did say hello but it was not a nice hello used to let me know that I was in front of a group and not the entrance. It was more of one of those youre an idiot hellos. I was humiliated. The hostess promptly came my way and showed me the entrance. Although I headed back to general session and proceeded with my translating of such, I couldnt shake it off. After adjournment I headed up to my room and cried, no I take that back, I sobbed. So I share this with you all not for pity nor compassion. I share this with you to apply and compare. I know that this devasttation of ridicule has most likely been experienced by many. My target was my blindness. Others might have other variances. Keep in mind that this whole time at convention I had run into a couple of walls with my cane, bumped into many individuals, went into a wrong session or two and got turned around in a corridor. But, this time I at least did not get off on the wrong floor off the elevator! Im blind, and well those things happen sometimes. While I was sitting on my bed with my tissue box, I had to ask myself why are you so upset?And as much as i tried to change my answer there was no denying that I was embarrassed about how this must have looked. You know the depicted blind individual wandering into the wrong places. Before I lost my sight i would actually be in the company of those who found that to be so funny and entertaining. And well I guess it impacted me more than I thought. So I sat and cried and sat and cried some more. And when I was done I slowly came to the realization of the things that I have accomplished. I am blind and I travel independantly. I am blind and i have raised two exceptional young women. I am blind and I own my own home. I am blind and I support myself and my daughters. I am blind and I am gainfully employed. I am blind and manage my appearance to my fullest. I am blind and I exercise my priveledges such as voting and voicing my opinions. I am blind and I consider myself to be strong, successful, accomplished and a good individual. This made me wonder, what do the people seated at that booth do? Could they port a blindfold and cane and find there way through this enormous hotel? Mind you, could they even find there way to the front? I get it, it is inevitable, blindness often causes stares from many. I also realize that when people behave in such a low class manner it is usually due to either insecurities and or lack of education. This is why I do my best to go out into the community and educate and debunk misnomers about the blind. This is why I carry myself in a continued healthy lifestyle living the life I want. But, ultimately, you cannot change an individual unless they are willing to do so themselves. Some are content being ignorant and as a result often pass this down to generations after them. I felt better and interestingly enough heard about other groups that were visiting the same hotel for other functions. Most of which were family re-unions. One of our staff shared that while at the pool a person asked him are you with all these blind people? He said yes, I am. They went on to ask him if he was visually impaired to which he responded, no. Then they went on to say that he was one of the blessed. Because you know, there are many crackpots out there that really believe that God must have been really mad at us or someone in our family past committed a horrible sin thus causing our blindness! Well, in the words of my dad, It takes all kinds. And truly such unfortunate experiences of ignorance really do put a perspective on possessing class, self confidence, self esteem, education and respect not to mention basic manners. In the end you can never really change anyone. A person has to strive for excellence before they can achieve it. My sharing of this is two fold. One, of course to let you in on my reality as a blind woman. I want everyone to know that Im okay with bumping, spilling and getting disorientated. It happens once in a while, After all Im blind. And two, I want everyone who has ever let themselves feel humiliated, ridiculed and embarrassed to own what you feel and then stop and think about how amazing you really are. And how no one can ever make you feel anything unless you let them. In the end, thank you to all you knuckleheads (believe me Id rather use another reference) out there, you can laugh, you can stare, you can point, you can sneer but you can never take away my dignity, integrity, self respect and belief in you. Yes, I believe in you and realize that you must be hurting or have suffered some attack on your belief in yourself. Ill pray for you, because the God I pray too is a loving god...he even loves you.
Posted on: Wed, 09 Jul 2014 07:38:10 +0000
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