In dealing with people who dont seem to respect your boundaries it is important to be assertive but not get personally and emotionally offended. What I find really helpful is to imagine the other person as being socially hard of hearing. If someone is hard of hearing, you dont take it personal that they dont understand you as you whisper or speak in a normal tone of voice but increase the volume. Without feeling that you are being impolite and yelling as them (as you would normally for raising your voice). And they will be grateful that you made the effort of saying things loud enough so that they can understand. If you deal with someone who does not seem to see your boundaries, approach it in the same way. Once you have clarified your boundaries in your usual (subtle and polite) way that most people would get, and you see the other person is not hearing you, you increase the volume. Which, in case of being socially hard of hearing means: Instead of giving hints you are explicit about what you like and dislike. If the other person still doesnt react, you have to increase your volume again: Instead of just being explicit you become assertive or even aggressive. As long as you can hold on to the notion that the other person is not being obnoxious on purpose but rather socially hard of hearing, you will be far less offended, annoyed and defensive. By slowly increasing your volume until the other person hears you, you will see how far you have to go to get their respect. And you will be surprised. The kind of frankness that would be absolutely offensive to most people might actually be appreciated by this specific person, because it is at a level that he/she can understand and act upon. Written 21 Nov, 2011. Suggest Edits Upvote1 Downvote Comment Share
Posted on: Fri, 19 Sep 2014 01:48:50 +0000
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