In regards to Depression, given that this discussion is coming up because of Robin Williams; these are things to keep in mind when talking to someone depressed. Disclaimer: I am not a licensed therapist, but I have counseled people through grief and out of suicide and so there are some important things to note: 1. Depression is not a mood. I know we hear Im depressed and think its logical that we can fix it if we give them something positive or happy to counter it. The solution is not to give them happy platitudes and tell them Think positive! In fact, (and it sounds strange) but telling them think positive will do more damage because to a depressed person, you are dismissing them and not listening to them. 2. Listen and let them talk. I have found it is best to allow others to talk and keep talking out loud because once all the stuff that makes them anxious is out of their head, they might find the solution themselves. Talk less, sometimes if it is to agree or nod to validate that you heard them. 3. Do NOT compare and contrast his/her personal pain with a much bigger one. Some people attempt to logically put a depressed persons pain into perspective by saying There are worse problems in the world like war and poverty, etc. thinking that perspective will snap him/her out of it. Instead, someone who is depressed will not only feel dismissed, but he/she will feel worse to have ever come to you at all. He/she is already feeling insignificant; you just confirmed it. AVOID DOING THIS. 4. Many of us feel that if someone is coming us with this kind of problem, we have to drop everything to help him; but if you ARE legitimately busy (i.e. you are at work and you dont have time right now), tell them if you can talk later and give him/her a specific time frame like I will call you when I get out of work. or Give me ten minutes. And then honor it. Also, when someone is like this, try not to say, I only have ten minutes right now, even if that is true. Solution? Propose hanging out or going to coffee or dinner. A human connection that is stronger than internet is always important (and if distance is a challenge, phone calls can work.) 5. If someone is talking about suicide (deep breath), if he/she is coming to you, you have a very good chance of preventing it. If he/she was already of the mindset to do it, she/he would already have done it; so as a listener, dont stress yourself out and start overthinking that you have to do something grand to save them. You already are by listening. BUT the moment you hear such talk, you have to respond with NO and DONT DO THAT or some kind of clear message that death is not an acceptable solution to end a depression. That NO needs to be so strong that they realize that his/her path is being blocked. That is why they came to you; to be an obstacle in that path of thinking. If he/she has already harmed himself/herself, at that point, seek professional help. Do not be a hero and attempt to handle this yourself. For both of your sakes, get help. Call 911 if necessary. Fortunately, most will never get to that point. But thats what you do when it is beyond your ability to help; get others who can handle that involved. This is what you can do for a person who is Depressed. #RobinWilliams #Depression
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 15:53:38 +0000
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