In the Brisbane Kids Team working group tonight we are having a bit of a chat about the reality of parenting. The highlight reel of others that feeds a perfection mentality. It is really driving me crazy. Lets be REAL. Parenting is freakin hard and I for one am having a super crappy parenting day and from what I hear I am not alone. Am I right in saying, its super hard to be everything the kids expect and need and get dinner cooked and homework done and baths and teeth and pets fed and possibly maybe glance at the husband if he comes home in time for dinner- shower for me WHAT???. If I didnt have a husband I might have less clothes to pick up but then I wouldnt have the person to whinge at- its all relative isnt it. Its also a first world problem SURE I get that people have it tougher but everything is relative and my feelings YOUR feeling count. I think the highlight reels drive an anti whinge focus where is not ok to have a rant about how hard it is- because there is always a troll there to point out that someone has it worse that you. That in itself is part of the issue- the constant need to compare. Why is it not ok to bask in your own crappy perception of your life with kids sometimes. Its not saying you dont LOVE them or being a parent- its just part of the journey I think, to feel the lows to appreciate the highs and grow. HOW do I get thru the day and night without losing my crap? I dont. The fact is I am not one of those mums who speaks in soft tones all the time and I certainly dont have the time to make sandwiches in stars or sew. Infact I cant sew at all. My cooking sux 80% of the time (though i keep trying) and I am quite happy to admit baby wipes are actually part of my cleaning kit and you know what? My kids often have toasted sangers for dinner and sometimes I dont read them a book at bedtime. Often, I realise that tomorrow is going to be better than today because today sucked ha. And you know what? I DONT CARE? I dont care as long as the kids know they are loved, that I fill them with a hug at the end of the night, that I am generally good natured and a little silly, that we sing frozen songs every morning in the car at the top of our lungs and that they smile in their hearts at me as they wave when they head off to school or kindy. Can I also say that one thing parents like YOU and I have downpat is the ability to reflect on how we might have done better IF we might have had kids who werent totally crazy. And I know we do try to do better tomorrow. Which is pretty awesome when you think about it. Its ok. I promise you. We are ALL in the same boat whether we admit it or not whether we can SEE it or not. Ngaire Owner/Editor.
Posted on: Thu, 08 May 2014 10:27:55 +0000
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