In the moments following the death of that loved one, you think, this cant be real, no its not true, he cant be gone, just like that, without a smile or a goodbye.....Then for the next few days, people will suffocate you with condolences, and well wishes, but you dont really grasp what anyone is saying, because youre numb..... There is so much to do, to prepare to say your final goodbyes to a part of your heart..... I mean seriously, how can you put 37 years, into a couple of hrs for the funeral.....Before the funeral, everyone is around, they are exchanging stories about him, and you even catch yourself smiling and laughing sometimes....After all of the arrangements are made, the programs printed up, and loved ones from out of state arrive, now comes the hardest thing that you never ever wanted to do.... and that is walking into a crowded building, with all eyes on you, to see your loved ones lifeless body, lying in the coffin, looking like hes only asleep. .... As you get closer to the coffin, your heart pounds like its going to jump right out of your chest, you are crying so hard, and uncontrollably, till you wonder is this real??? You get through it, you watch as they carry him out of the church, knowing youll never see him again...... Now it comes time to sit around and watch, as they commence to put him in the ground, and everyone, is still suffocating you with hugs, and everything..... Now to leave the cemetery, knowing hes still there.... Umph, Lord have mercy..But, you get through that day, and then now, today is the day, that you face this world without your loved one..... You just think, of all the things youll miss, the things he will never get to see and do with his children.... more and more days and wks follow, and you just think, Lord, what I wouldnt do, for just one more day.... just one more day.... These are the times when you need to be suffocated, by hugs, well wishes and condolences. .... I kept saying to myself, this time, yesterday or this time last week..... you count by hours, days and wks that hes been gone..... I know it doesnt seems like youll ever smile again, but with true loving, praying family and friends, you get through it, and one day youll remember him without the sadness and the tears..... Look to and depend on God, because hes got you.... He will get you through...... 1Luv
Posted on: Wed, 03 Sep 2014 15:12:45 +0000