In the of 19 years of my sister being here, I could never relate to the unending internal sadness that seemed to envelope her. Almost 7 years ago, after loosing her, I walked in her shoes. I felt the emptiness and hopelessness of not wanting to breathe one more breath. The struggle to fight to hold on but wanting nothing more then to not have to fight what seemed like a loosing battle. From then on, I said, if this is how she felt every day of your life, without something substantial happening, or the loss of someone close to her, then I dont blame her one bit for choosing to leave, because this feeling is terrible. In Josies letter she said, and I quote My hardest task is getting out of bed every morning, things like that just shouldnt take that much energy. I honestly dont want to give up, but Im so tired and lost. I really just want to feel real happiness for more then an hour, a day or month... I only share this to again show that this article is dead on! This is many peoples true struggle on a daily basis! Someone had made the analogy, its like a piece of the puzzle is missing, and no matter how many times they try and grab for another piece to fix to the problem, (i.e. meds, counseling etc) nothing seems to fit. And sometimes suicide is the last permanent piece that fits, eternal happiness. Depression is NO different then a cancer, its a disease that the mind and body are unable to control, no different then a tumor. Dont under mind the reason or the way of leaving. The choice was theirs, whether anyone agrees with it or wants to justify it in their own terms is neither here nor there. Until youve lived with the disease or youve stood on the other side, engulfed with guilt because you couldnt make them happier, you couldnt fix them, the shoulda, coulda, wouldas, if only I would haves....then plain and simple dont judge it until youve lived it and dont label it until youve walked it. #awarenessandeducationarethefirststep #empathizeinsteadofscrutinize
Posted on: Fri, 15 Aug 2014 03:21:49 +0000
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