In the summer of 2009, I had the honor of being present for the birth of my first grandchild. I knew the moment she arrived that my world would never be the same … I just had no idea how dramatically it would change! We knew before we became grandparents that it was not into the best situation into which she would be born. My daughter and her boyfriend had issues that concerned us deeply, even before they decided to bring another life into the already unstable relationship. But we were determined to believe that things would work themselves out. However, they did not. They deteriorated quickly and dramatically with the stresses of parenthood. It became clear fairly quickly that they could not provide a safe, loving home for our granddaughter. When there was evidence of neglect and her parents’ unsafe habits; my husband and I made the painful decision to go to court to protect our granddaughter. Due to events prior to getting an emergency custody order; it was sadly very clear that she was not safe and we were granted temporary custody. Shortly after that order, we learned our daughter was again pregnant with the same man. Due to the ongoing situation we were awarded custody at the birth of our grandson. After being given two years after the his birth to follow a case plan to regain custody, facts in evidence caused the court to award custody of both children to us until they are eighteen years old. So … we went from empty nesters, just at the beginning of a life of slower pace and enjoying some travel when we found ourselves raising a second family! I love my grandchildren and they bring us so much joy every day. It is physically much harder to keep up with a two and four year old than it was 30 years ago; but on the flip side – they keep us active! There are aspects to raising your grandchildren that takes away from the grandparenting experience. We can’t spoil them and send them home. We are required to discipline and are responsible for much more than we would be as “normal” grandparents. The financial aspect has been quite a strain since our entire savings was spent on court & lawyer fees to go through the process of keeping our grandchildren safe. But even with the incredible upheaval and stress this has brought into our lives – knowing we’ve insured that they are in a safe, loving, peaceful home makes it all worth the costs … financial, emotionally, morally and spiritually. The total and unconditional love of grandchildren cannot be described in words. I started a blog in hopes of connecting with other grandparents in similar situations to lend and receive support through sharing stories, suggestions, ideas, etc. I have found since all this started that parenting grandparents are much more common nowadays than I ever imagined. I feel there must be others that can benefit from communicating with other grandparents dealing with the unique issues that we face and will continue to face throughout our precious grandchildren’s lives.
Posted on: Sun, 11 Aug 2013 02:13:16 +0000
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