Insert 33 i got up and tried tidying around..sisipho was just roaming aroundmy classes were going to start next week so i had to go look for a daycare for sisipho. I decided not to tell anyone about this mandisi issue.i had no power for all thse meetings and talks. I freshend up took sisipho and we went daycare hunting. I found one not far from our house so i went back home. A week passed and i started attending..my mind was now not distracted.mandisi called me evryday but sometimes i would just ignore him.i hated how he is living life with another woman and he is doing no effort whats so ever to make things right. A month went by and i got a call from mandisis mom. Me: hello ma. Ma: luniko how are you.tjo you have forgoten us. Me: no mom its just that i have too much on my plate and i started with school. Ma: tjo thats great,how are you and mandisi. Me: we good,but not like before. Ma: just stay by him neh. My heartached. Me: i will always stay by him. Ma: okay angel,kiss sissy for me. Me: will do mom,send my greetings to dad. Ma: okay i will. She hunged up. I wasnt really feeling well so i called one of my mates to inform her i wont be attending. I made myself some breakfast.ommelets but i only had one bite the food cae rushing back.i ran to the toilet and vomitted.i rinsed my mouth and went back.i made a bowl of cereal instead. I took sisipho and we went to sleep.she didnt wanna sleep so she kept on bitting and poking me.i was begining to get sick but really i didnt know where all this pain was coming from.my whole body was weak.my stomach had some pains.wheneva i tried to eat or even drink i would just throw up.it was all just sudden. I decided to call my sister,maybe i need to see a doctor. I dailled her numbers and she answered. Fikile: lil sis. Me: i need your help,please come to our house. Fikile: tjo thandaza it will take a while can you manage. Me: m in our parents house.just get here cause i know you wanna ask many questions now. Fikile: okay i will be there. After a few minutes i heared her come in.she had her own keys.she came to my bedroom. Fikile thandaza: whats wrong . Me: i dont know. I told her how it started. Fikile: why are you here,how long have you been here. Me: its almost two months. Fikile: thandaza!! Me: i didnt want any meetings..i have had enough and i had to focus at school. Fikile: then you decided to keep it all to yourself. Me: you have no idea. Fikile: make me understand. Me: its hard. I told her evrything that happened besides the rape thing. Fikile: then what if you are pregnant. I stared at her,that thought never crossed my mind. Me: no! Fikile: lets go check. My mind was racing. I prepared and we went to the clinic.i registered and evrything.i waited for my turn to go in.i was shaking.my turn finally came.i went in very nervous. Me: afternoon. Lady: afternoon,how can i help. I told her how it started and she asked me when i last had my periods. Me: its been a month . She gave me a container to go pee in. I came back with the sample.i gave it to her. She took out the pregnancy test. Lady: so you know if you pregnant there are other options. Me: i would like to keep my baby. Lady: thats great.. We waited for the results. I was bitting my nails,nerves. Lady: congrats.. Me: m pregnant. Lady: yes you are.you can start prenatal care once you are 9 weeks or when it suits you,but i wish you luck. Me: thanks,bye. I got out trying so much not to burst in tears. Fikile: done. I just nodded and we walked out. Fikile: how did it go,if i may ask. Me: it is positive. Fikile: are you gonna tell mandisi. Me: no!! Fikile: thandaza maybe this will be your turning point. Me: no,please.i wont tell him and i hope you wont either. Fikile: why thandaza,you must tell him.please me: he raped me!! Thats how i got pregnant i wont tell him.do you see him here.he is busy shagging sindi and doing good knows what with her.he has turned into a beast i dont know.so dont force me to tell him a thing. Fikiles jaws dropped. I ran all the way to the house leaving them behind. How can i be..life just got more complicated.but i can do this if he is willing to stay with sindi who m i to judge. M trying so much to write as fast so i can put this diary to rest.i wanna take abreak from the writting world and focus on other things.so a few more chapters to go.
Posted on: Thu, 08 Jan 2015 06:21:25 +0000
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