Insert 45..** I had to quickly decide how to handle this ..Then I thought uKgosi has proved in more than 1 way that ma his girl nangale yofuna simkhaphe sobabini bingazukwenzeka if he had a hidden agenda ... I got up ndanxiba iflops ndafaka sades kwakushushu mos ... I walked next to Kgosi hand in hand wabe uThe woman esenza ismall talk ebuza uKgosi usaphangela nah yonke lonto .. Ndiye ndadikwa ke mna .. Me: Bye sisi uhambe kakhle .. The woman looked at Kgosi egwantye inyembezi and I knew ufuna usizelwa engok lo akhonto ililisayo apha and she knows Kgosi has a good heart so shes taking advntage .. I looked at Kgosi with that dont you dare look .. Me: Masijike please .. Kgosi: Uhambe kakhle neh...uThe woman throws herself ku Kgosi nge hug enkulu elila .. Me: Amen .. I dont have time for this ..Kgosi hugged her back then wamsusa .. Kgosi: Uzobaright mahn I know you strong ...lets not pretend we both know mna nawe wouldnt work but thanks for trying and not giving up on me.. Me: Enough with the speeches ..masambe We left ke efuxuza umntana wabantu .. Me: Sundqhela kakbi wena uyeva Kgosi: Akhonto ndiyenzileyo .. Me: Ha.a before siye kude masqale apha ufuna ntoni uThe woman kowenu she is your ex mos ngoku why does she re-appear in the new chapter of your life iworse a year later ..Hee wethu ndinazo nam I EX neh but zange wabona nenye ekhaya .. Kgosi: Nhanha we dated for a while and asiqali ukohlukana I guess she never thought our last break up was the final break up ...Andinantliziyo imdaka nawe uyayazi lonto umntu xa eze ngoxolo kum I have to be calm and be at peace nam .. Me: You still attached to her neh Kgosi: I did love her once Nhanha those feelings dont just vanish into thin air .. Me: Ouch .. Kgosi: Ouch ntoni am being honest and wena you should be glad because I chose you ..My feelings for you are stronger and much more real ... Kgosi tells it like it is ke akajikelezi and he really knows how to love a woman thats why engancanywa ncam nazezi ex .. Me: Ndidikiwe ke mna zezi ghosts of your past . Kgosi: I know and am sorry but now you should know how commited I am in making us work .. Me: Why didnt you give her a chance Kgosi: Who Me: The woman she loves you oko ebelila nangok ubungekho .. And you have a history so Kgosi: She only got intrested in me once her head was filled yi nonsense yoba we getting married and shes always wanted umtshato .. Me: Kutheni ungamtshatanga ke . Kgosi: Ndifuna utshata wena thats why .. I smiled ngaphakathi ..It really felt good knowing where I stand with him .. It feels good loving someone that you know loves you back .. Me: Lets not make this thing ye ex a habit uyeva ... Kgosi: No more ghosts from my side ..asazi kuwe .. Me: Haay my exes are dead and buried abanayo nechance yoporha ke shame .. He laughed .. We went home ke uThe gal esbukele she saw us ngelaxesha besihamba no The woman ..Am sure she was very happy ecinga kukhatshwa mna because the look on her face xandibuya no Kgosi said a lot.. Kgosi: Baby uzogoduka Me: Ewe aloku I have class ngomso Kgosi: What time Me: 11 to 12 then 2 to 3 .. Kgosi: Suhamba sohamba sobabini ekseni .. Me: Andinampahla yotshintsha.. Kgosi: Zotshintsha ekseni aloku.. Me: Uzondenza late ke ndxelele.. Kgosi: Zokhwela itaxi nzaknika imali ... Me: Ohk.. Kgosi: Awuyithandi imali uyazbona Me: *laughs* Ndiright chiin.. We bonded ke nomntu wam like there was nothing else in the world besides the two of us .. Kgosi: Buztyile pilisi Me: What pills? Kgosi: Contraceptive babe .. Me: Yhoo ha.a ndazyeka baby ziyandgulisa .. Kgosi: So you not using anything? Me: Ha.a Kgosi: You want us to have a child *I saw how his face lit up when he asked me that* Me: Hee you dont give up do you .. Kgosi: Ha.a He kissed me then took of my top ..still kissing.. Him: Xolo babe uyafuna pof Me: Ewe .. We did the dance ..I didnt realise that I was in some world and I was having flashbacks till Kgosi stopped engakagqibi .. He kissed me on my forehead then wandbamba .. Kgosi: Xolo vah .. Me: Why did you stop Kgosi: The look on your face I couldnt continue ..Ubuwavale ngci amehlo .. Me: Xolo I didnt realise .. Amehlo am ebesegcwele inyembezi Kgosi held me so tight zezehlela inyembezi ... Kgosi: Shhh babe .. Thats the thing about Post Traumatic Disorder ..When it hits you it hits you hard .. Ayixeli ke when it is about to hit you ... Kgosi was just a blessing from God the way he understood yonke into le .. And still thought am worthy to be his wife that to me meant a lot .. Komnye umntu ngendizi damaged goods not worth to be married .. We fell asleep ke and I woke up ekseni and I did his lunch and ironing ..then ndamvusa . Ugqiba kwam uvasa we left .. Kgosi: I could get used to this Me: What now Kgosi: Waking up next to you and travel together ekseni .. Me: Haike wena .Bye bye I kissed him then ndamisa itaxi yena walinda ibus .. Ndafika endlini around 9 bus yam yeye ten to 10 .. I rushed got dressed then ndahamba .. Ndaya ebus stop .. I got there ten minutes earlier I waited for the bus I was all alone kula bus stop .. Ndithe ndisamile njalo kwabe kusiza umfana nje ezodlula ngase calen kwam.. Uthe xa edlula ecaleni kwam .. Him: Molo Nadia Me: Molo I was trying to look at him uba ngubani and ndimazelaphi his face was farmiliar .. Him: Usemhle nangoku .. I remembered his heavy breathing and his scent .. It was him .. It was the man who raped me that night .. He had this smug smile on his face eyonyanyisayo ... I couldnt look at him no longer ..I crossed indlela ndibaleka indlela yam ibisiya ngakwelabala but ndajika ndehla ndayongena eJo Slovo my high school .. I went straight to my economics teacher kwi office yakhe .. I was crying .. Shes the calmest person I know unless shes angry ke .. Her: Ha.a sulila calm down and tell me what happened ..she gave me a bottle of water ndasela .. Me: Xolo Miss ndiphantse ndarojwa ndothukile .. Her: Ubuhamba kwelibala .. Me: Bendse bus stop Her: Iwrongo kelendlela nyani worse xakungekho bantu ekseni .. Me: Xolo ngokuhlupha Miss ndise andayazi ndingene phi.. Her: Akhongxaki sisi wenza ntoni kulonyaka .. Me: Ndiyafunda e UWC miss Her: Nyani wenza ntoni .. Me: iLaw ..Enkosi Miss mandhambe ndingeka shiywa yi bus .. Her: Ohk ke mntanam uhamba safe. Me: Enkosi .. I just wanted to get out there and go home .. Ndakhawuleza ke went home ndafika and went to bed ndalila.. I needed to talk someone I was going mad kulandlu .. I needed my girls and not being open kubo killed me because they know how to restore my faith .. I knew telling them this would hurt them as much as it hurts me bendingayfuni lonto infact all I wanted to do is forget about this .. I texted uKuhle on mxit pof I didnt have the courage to tell this to anyone facially so I decided to text her on mxit tell her everything phana and what happened that present day .. She said uzobuya after class aze ekhaya then siye kula detective who handled my case .. She inspired me to be strong because she was very strong for me.. Thank you babe** My heart was very heavy because I didnt share this with uNomhle knowing her she is my pillar and she knows everything about my life ..I dont think I would have managed to face the look on her face when I told her .. That woman is my other half .. When I cry she cries When I laugh she laughs .. I knew it would break her heart ..She knew about my previous attack I didnt want to bring that pain back .. Kuhle arrived ke we went to the police station but unfortunately ndafika lamama wale case engekho so I took her contact details then we went home ... Me: I wonder uhlalaphi lomfana chomy .. Kuhle: My guess is Ko B or Ko C or around phana ..uzofunywanwa maahn nawe dont give up on this easily .. Me: I wont friend .. I called Kgosi and let him knew kwenzeka ntoni .. He was fuming vah ebuza why didnt I call immediately when it happened ..
Posted on: Thu, 24 Jul 2014 08:12:19 +0000
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