Insert 57 two months later I was back in The hospital bed, this time the Doctors told me there was no hope. Cancer was all over my body. I was also feeling my body was failing me. I cried of pain every night. My eyes were running dry. Tears endlessly flowing. People I never thought I would see, next to my hospital bed. People who I thought hated me. Baziveza sendilele ekhukweni lokufa. I was impatiently waiting for my death. But it did not come when I wanted it to come. I had stopped Zimasa from visiting me. She would just cry next to me. I know it was hard for her, seeing me like this. Head bald looked as if no hair ever grew. Eyes swollen and white. I had enough of life, it really had its way with me. It was really hard to even speak. I failed to recognise him, but his voice was familiar. He spoke gently and softly. I felt his soft gentle hand as he brushed the back of my hand. I tried to look closely, until I realised who it was. I think I smiled but I did not feel my mouth move. Me: Lucky? Lucky: Hello girl, uziva njani? Me: Uyabona mtshana, ndifile Lucky: Hang in there kau, uzoba grand Me: Abaku xelelanga? Lucky: Yeah, but ke ithemba yiwey esakhula kuthiwa singalilahli Me: Hayi ke mna achuuz, ndalijula enzulwini yolwandle kudala, endi sure ngayo, iishark zalidlakaza elam ithemba Lucky: Suthetha njalo mfethu, miracles do happen, ungaphakama apha uhambe, mna ndandizixelele ndiyofela edanyane, but Ndijonge ndim lo. Miracle, ummangaliso uBawo andenzele wona Me: Ja bungenzanga nto, mna ndazenza charlie Lucky: I understand where you come from, but ke ndithe mandikubone nam Me: Well Alakhile, bendikubizile nam Lucky: Utshilo uZee kum, Me: Unjani? Lucky: Yeah ebesithi akekho grand. But ke ngu life uzaqhela Me: Well Lucky ndikubizile, bengafuni ncokola qha Lucky: Ja neh Me: Ndiyafa achuuz Lucky: Eish Me: Mamela, zandi spaart brah Lucky: Mhh Me: Ingcosi yakho, but ke ndayisusa Lucky kept quiet for a while, then he spoke Lucky: Yhoo! Hlesta, ziwey zanini ezo? Me: The year sasijola, before ustika noLathitha Lucky: Yhoo Nonhle! Andazi joe, why ngabiki? Me: Zawumncinci Lucky Lucky: Still brah Me: Ndicelu xolo Lucky I could hear hurt and anger in his voice. Lucky: Xolele, Nam ndaxolelwa, uBawo wandinika ithuba lesibini. Ndingubani mna ukuba ndingaku bamba ngentliziyo? Andingomntu mna Nonhle, akukho lula uphila ubomi emva kwento eyenzakayo. Ndiphila nalewey everyday Me: Askies Lucky He held my hand, gently brushing it. He stayed for a while then he left after the visiting hour. When Lucky left me, there I felt at peace. Like something had been removed from my shoulders. I felt light as if I could walk anywhere. Agcobile was dead for me to tell him. I wanted to see Zimasa, I could feel I was dying. Nomatter how strong I pretended to be my time had come. I did not sleep the whole night. Writing letters. A letter to my Mother, a letter to Zimasa, a letter to Duke and Berry, a letter to Zikhona and a letter to Lazola. When Zimasa arrived the next morning. I looked at her. Me: Ndicela undiphuze Zee: He? Me: Ndicela undiphuze, undibambe Zimasa kissed me, softly on my lips, her lips were soft and wet. Then she hugged me. I felt her hug. Me: Bendicela uyondithengela imuffin Zee, azikho fresh ezi Zee went out to buy muffins, after she walked out Lazola walked in. I wanted him out of the room as soon as I could get him out. Me: Lazola ndicela uleqe uZimasa, angalibali uthenga ichocolate souce Lazola did as I said, he ran after Zimasa. My time had come, my chance was now. I silently, softly closed my eyes, in a quest to slip away from life. As I closed my eyes, it felt strange dying but it was a nice feeling. As my heart stopped beathing. I stopped breathing, and could hear nothing. I watched my lifeless body, as I spiritually stood next to my hospital bed. Crying for my dead body. Nurses came in running, and I could hear Zimasa crying from down the hallway. I looked at her as Lazola picked her up from the floor. Lazola: Thula Zimasa, xolo xolo sisi he was also in tears. They were crying, I could not think and imagine the pain on my littles sisters heart when she hears the news. That I am nomore, that I am dead. I am sure Mum will cry, but forget about me soon, she never loved me. She just bared with me, as she gave birth to me. She had to, she just had to. As soon as they take my spirit in this place, I have to watch them take my body, change the sheets and let someone else sleep on that bed. My family, yes them, ooTamnci nabafazi babo, I saw them enter the room. As the Doctor delivered the news. Zikhona thre herself on my lifeless body and she cried, she said Zikhona: Nontle vuka, Nontle vuka, Nontle vuka, ndenzeni Bawo mna ndedwa? Buya buya Nontle, mama, mama the way she cried realy hurt me, while standing in that room. They spoke under their breaths, Lukhanyo was wiping away tears so was Lazola. I am gone
Posted on: Wed, 17 Sep 2014 18:39:11 +0000
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