Islamic Parenting style, notice the first seven years developmental stage, no academic/formal education. The first stage: The first seven years of a child’s life are the years in which he develops physical strength. Children should be given the freedom to engage in all sorts of productive physical activities and sports. Such activities, that had been mentioned in a Hadith by the Prophet (p), include swimming, horseback riding, and archery. It is not favorable for parents to restrain the child’s movement. Even in case they were afraid that their child would harm himself, their role must be constricted to monitoring him rather than forbidding him from having his own space and freedom of movement. In addition, mothers and fathers should be aware of the child’s physical and mental abilities. His little hands, small legs, and limited mental capability should all be taken into consideration. For instance, a little child cannot make his own food, nor treat his diseases in case of sickness. Thus, parents should be patient and compassionate enough as to not only attend for his needs, but also do it with utmost love and empathy. Children should also be given the right to cry since it is their only means of expression. As mentioned by physicians, it is also a way to alleviate any stress a child might examine and allows the baby’s lung to develop. Thus, crying, as annoying as it might get, is actually healthy for the baby. Parents must also develop the child’s moral motive and sense of order as well by supplying him with an early education. A system of punishment and reward must be set, explaining that any behavior that happens to be negative will be punished, and any positive behavior will be rewarded. It is important to note that children’s mistakes must be tolerated and dealt with wisely and patiently. After all, the child has not yet developed full conscience and awareness of right and wrong. The second stage: This stage is marked by its emphasis on discipline and education. Now that the child has developed physical and mental skills, he is more capable of expressing himself and even more aware of his actions and their consequences. It is very crucial during this stage that parents deal with their children on the bases of understanding, dialogue; yet power. The child ought to know that there are certain rules and regulations that he must follow, and that there are limits he must never trespass. However, parents should always resort to dialogue and calm stances in case the child has committed a mistake. The reaction to mistakes and wrong deeds must never terrorize or traumatize the child. During this stage, parents can start assigning chores to their children so that the child would grasp the concept of responsibility. However, chores must never be overwhelming or exceed the child’s the ability to perform them. The most important point is to educate children in religious law. Most Muslims think religious education means acquiring religious knowledge of the Quran and jurisprudence. However, the objectives of religious education for children is to train them to practice acts of worship including praying and fasting. Faith should be infused into the child’s personality so that an emotional attachment to Islam is created. After all, a Muslim child absorbs values and principles from his parents firstly. Otherwise, the child would develop undesirable habits and enethical values, and thus would not develop an upright Muslim character. As mentioned by Imam Ali (a.s.): “Mould clay as long as it is pliable and plant seedlings while they are still supple.” The third stage: Now that the child is 14 years old, parents must realize that they are not as obedient and compliant as they used to be during the previous stage. Young boys and ladies will have a tendency to be independent, oversensitive, and sometimes even rebellious. The system of punishment and reward cannot be practiced anymore. Parents are now endowed with the role of a friend in additional to the former roles of being mentors and educators. They should diminish the sense of authority in their speech and actions and regard the child from a different perspective. Acceptance of new ideas is a key point to building a relation based on mutual trust and understanding. The youth’s ideas must be respected and never undermined or ridiculed. Thus, they would give their child the chance to confide to them in cases of troubles or decision-making. Parents must realize that their children are not their possession and do not constitute a personal belonging and thus should not be forced to behave like their parents especially that “they have been created for a time which is different than [their]time.”
Posted on: Mon, 18 Nov 2013 19:34:59 +0000
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