It has now been 8 months since Sessions has come to an end...and honestly I miss it so much every single day of my life that goes by. I feel like I lost such a significant part of myself the day that Sessions died. I dedicated every ounce of my being and soul into that band. I made significant life sacrifices, dropped out of school, gave up my own apartment, gave up a job promotion...I was willing to do it whatever it took to have that experience because it had been my dream for as long as I could remember. I had been musically inclined ever since I was a child, and doing vocals was the thing that stuck with me the most. I felt that it was my calling, my destiny. It fulfilled me in ways that other things couldnt. This is why I took my tenure and involvement with the band so seriously, because doing that was something I was so passionate about. I loved the band, I loved the music, I loved the people in it, I loved the people we played to. Ive never loved or felt so passionate about something in my entire life. This is why it pains me to this day that it is over. The hardest thing about being in a band with 5 people is everyone being on the same page, and that is what pulled the band apart. I couldve replaced the members who did not want to continue touring, but I did not feel like I had that right because it was not my band, it was our band. A lot of it was not under my control. The band was so close to getting signed by a label, and even though the tours were rough to start out (this is the case for all bands; you have to do the shot tours to progress and get to the good ones). It was hard to accept that, but I didnt have a choice. I attempted to compromise and in recent months have tried to reform the band to continue producing music and releasing it online, maybe playing some shows locally here and there. However, this has generated little to no interest. I still listen to our EP from time to time, and it induces so many feelings of joy but also feelings of pain and sadness. After the band ended, my life continued on a downward spiral. Thankfully, Ive been able to pull my ass out of the dirt and stand on my own 2 feet again, but something is still missing. I feel that music is one of the most beautiful of all creations that can be conjured up by beings, a great outlet when you are feeling down or upset, what feelings sound like. It is one of the few things that has always been there for me, and I miss it so much. I can sit here and listen to music all day, but I need to take part in creating it to be fulfilled. It doesnt matter if Im touring or not, signed to a label or not. I need that part of my heart back. So why dont we make some beautiful music together?
Posted on: Mon, 11 Aug 2014 18:59:20 +0000
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