It is extremely healthy to let go of the need for closure. When we have been hurt, we want people to be sorry for what they did. We want to hear that they know what they did was wrong and hurtful. We get so hooked into this that we put our happiness on hold until we get this “apology.” We need to understand these apologies rarely come, and each day we choose to stop our happy by waiting for the apology we believe we need in order to move on, is another day wasted on a situation which cannot be changed. Closure comes from within and in our ability to let go and move on. Even if an apology did/does come, it still does not delete the hurt caused. When we look at forgiveness we must look first at reality and acceptance. We need to use our emotions to help us set the right boundaries. Just because we forgive does not mean we need to reconcile. Forgiveness is a process of accepting what happened. What is done is done and no amount of us being angry, hurt or resentful is going to change that. When we can accept this reality and embrace this as it is, we end the battle. Forgiveness then has more to do with reality than people. We suffer when we want reality to be different than it is. Life is funny because how we think things should turn out and how they actually turn out are very often different. We have to feel all of the emotions which come along with this. Forgiveness is a process of feeling the hurt and letting it pass through so we can be clear on what to do next. Until we feel what we need to feel we cannot be clear. Closure, then, is an inside job. We get closure when we get back to ourselves, make the choice not to waste one more minute on what has happened and make happiness our priority and commitment. Love yourself.
Posted on: Tue, 11 Mar 2014 11:00:00 +0000
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