It seems inevitable that whenever a female celebrity or public figure gains or loses weight, people have strong opinions about it. Ridiculous and awful, but it happens almost without fail. On BOTH sides of the body shame/body love dichotomy. If she was thin and gains weight, the fat shaming comments start or curve enthusiasts hop on the I like her so much more now train. If she was bigger and loses weight, a combination of praise and hate follows: people who identified with her because of her weight seem pissed (think Jennifer Hudson backlash) and/or people seem obsessed with how she did it! (insert cover of her in a bikini with deets). The backlash seems stronger when the woman in question has been particularly vocal about loving her size and not wanting to fit the ideal, but we also put extra pressure on larger ladies to BE body positive. Even celebrating weight gain on a formerly thin person can be body negative: its like saying I hated your body before, but I love it now - not exactly a warm fuzzy. We expect women in public forums to be role models & put them on body lovin pedestols while simultaneously body shaming them directly or indirectly. In both cases, we are hyper-critical of them and linking their worth - on some level - to their bodies. If the main reason you like or hate someone is based on the size of their body, that is not a body loving stance. In other words, if Melissa McCarthy were to lose weight and this would BOTHER you, chances are her worth in your life depends more on the connection you feel to her body than the laughs she provides you. (the opposite is true too: if you find yourself constantly wishing shed lose weight instead of howling at her awesomeness its the same thing). So in the public-sphere, if youre a bigger woman, you can expect people to call you names and be fat shamed AND you will feel pressure to be vocal about loving your body. If youre a thinner woman, you can expect people to call you names and be thin shamed AND you will feel pressure to be vocal about loving your body. And if you make changes to that body, any changes whatsoever, you can expect people to call you names, be body shamed for your current and former body AND you will feel pressure to be vocal about loving both. Or apologetic for either. Confusing, eh? And frustrating. And silly. But I have to say, I see incredibly brilliant, well meaning and body loving women reinforce ALL of those things without seeing the hypocrisy. Theyre the women who get upset when their curvy ladies lose too much weight & applaud thinner women who gain and love their curves (a la Christina Aguilera. Who is, of course, now getting the praise/backlash treatment herself for losing weight again). NOW HERES SOMETHING WE SHOULD GET STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW. At least, when it comes to me and MY body. I dont plan on staying the same size forever. I dont worry about it. Shit happens, things change, and I expect Ill go up and down in weight as my life goes on. Weight is not a main focus for me, & life has ebbs and flows. If Im on a bad ass beast mode kick and my life permits it, I might lose weight, get leaner, have visible abs and be generally smaller. If things get busy, I get sick or injured, or if Im simply focused on doing my thing as best I can, I might gain weight, sport a belly boo, have less visible abs and be generally bigger. I dont plan for any of these things, they just happen and Im cool with it. Keeping myself exactly the same size forever and ever is an energy sucking endeavor that Im no longer interested in. Generally, when Im able to engage in the things I love - to varying degrees - I have a weight range of about 10-15lbs. Training hard and eating very clean = a smaller me. Keeping moderately active & fit and being healthy but less restrictive with my diet = a slightly bigger me. In both cases, I get to do what I love, but I might have different focuses at any given time. No biggie. But..... - if your opinion of me depends on me staying the same size forever - if youre gonna hate on me for looking leaner or heavier - if my weight is more important to you than the content of my character, the positivity I preach, the passion I have or the connection you feel to this page ... feel free to leave. I dont mind if you hang and youre perfectly entitled to your opinion about my body (just as I am entitled to disregard it). But to be honest, if my body fat percentage is more important to you than the 1000 other more interesting things about me, I wont be particularly upset to see you go. I believe in supporting peoples awesome. However it manifests. Someones weight or body size just isnt nearly as interesting to me as what they have to say, how they treat people and possible things we have in common. The less pressure we put on women to be who we want them to be, the more freedom we all have to be who we are. Addressing how other peoples bodies make you feel can be a big step in gaining more freedom for yourself and pumping more positivity into the world. Just a thought. A long one (as usual, lol), but just a thought nonetheless. :)
Posted on: Tue, 05 Nov 2013 19:47:47 +0000
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