It was a mistake for me to develop feelings for her. It is apparent now that she only responds for the sake of it. She doesnt truly care, nor does she even think much about my words. She claims to notice and understand but I doubt her words, after all she thought everything was all about training and hasnt responded since I said it wasnt. She probably didnt even bother to look up the meaning of dysthymia after I told her I had it. And that guys picture.... Hahaha.... Why didnt I notice? It should be obvious that it was a matter of time only before they got together. Looks like no one truly cares except S&M probably. The two of them are all I have now. And family? What family? To think I care about my family is practically absurd. I rather live in a hostel than at home to be honest. After all I dont even interact with them, Im such an abnormal person. But fundamentally Im still human, still require social interaction which is annoying. I only desire to interact with those I hold dear which arent many. But will they leave me in due time? I hope not after all they are probably the only things holding me back. The world is a cruel but beautiful place. Do I truly matter? After all Im just a tiny speck of dust in the universe. I envy the animals sometimes, their sole purpose in life is to survive and reproduce. Humans have so many more restrictions, such as having to be socially acceptable though it also applies in some social animals like apes. But they dont have to worry about things like a broken heart, being betrayed by those you thought you could trust. Perhaps they do, I just dont know it. I just wanted to be happy, is that too much to ask? Dont we all desire to be happy? By a student with dysthymia and anxiety disorder
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 04:32:59 +0000
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