It was around this time, six years ago, that we were in unstoppable labor with Alexander...when we were face to face with the brutal truth that our son would have very little time, if any, outside the womb... That, instead of the dreams and hopes wed put on his pregnancy-the praying, the begging, the bartering of our very souls it felt like- his life would end just as it had begun. A nurse called a monastery close to the hospital and a monk came to pray with us, getting out of his warm bed to stand vigil with us for a while. Peter and I snuggled together and waited for the inevitable. Hours passed and then, in the wee hours of Sunday morning, November 23, 2008, our sweet little Alexander entered the world, kicking and breech. In his short life, he was kissed, hugged, and baptized, and then, just as St Francis wrote, he was born into eternal life. I still cant believe its been six years in seven short hours... six years since we said hello, six years since we said goodbye. Even now, planned memorial services instead of christenings and remembrance Masses instead of birthday parties, It all seems surreal. I know that Ill be at Mass at 9 tomorrow and that his name will be called...It wont be an honor roll at school or a cub scout award. It will be a prayer for the dead. A prayer for a little boy I barely knew but who held forever in his tiny hands. A little boy who brought peace to my fragile chaos, even though he couldnt stay. I see him in Bobbys dimples, in Maya`s hair, in Michaels eyes... I feel him near with every flickering light and on my runs at dawn or dusk. I probably wont be on here tomorrow much but if you have the chance, say his name for me. Remember that he was here. That he lived. That, in my heart, he always will.
Posted on: Sun, 23 Nov 2014 01:41:43 +0000