[..] It was the self, the purpose and essence of wich I sought to learn. It was the self, I wanted to free myself from, wich I sought to overcome. But I was not able to overcome it, could only decieve it, could only flee from it, only hide from it. Truly, no thing in this world has kept my toughts thus busy, as this my very own self, this mystery of me being alive, of me being one and being separated and isolated from all others, of me being Siddhartha! And there is no thing in this world I know less about than about me, about Siddhartha! I know nothing about myself, that Siddhartha has remained thus alien and unknown to me, stems from one cause, one single cause: I was afraid of myself, I was fleeing from myself! I searched Atman, I searched Brahman, I was willing to dissect my self and peel off all of its layers, to find the core of all peels in its unknown interior, the Atman, the life, the divine part, the ultimate part. But I have lost myself in the process. Oh, now I would not let Siddhartha escape from me again! No longer, I want to begin thoughts and my life with Atman and with the suffering of the world. I do not want to kill and dissect myself any more, to find a secret behind the ruins. Neither Yoga-Veda should teach me any more, nor Atharva-Veda, nor the ascetics, nor any kind of teachings. I want to learn from myself, want to be my student, want to get to know myself, the secret of Siddhartha! /H. Hesse "Siddhartha. An indian tale"/
Posted on: Tue, 30 Jul 2013 21:01:36 +0000
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