Its April Fools Day - growing up in the Friend household, this was a national day of celebration for mom. My poor father did his best to avoid her at all costs, but then she would catch him at a vulnerable moment and WHAM...he didnt know what hit him. Never shy of extremes, we will never forget the classic - beloved Aunt Claras fake heart attack while frying chicken. The lived across the alley and mom had Uncle Bernard go find dad in the driveway and tell him something was wrong. Dad was frantic when he walked into the kitchen to Aunt Clara on the floor, fork across her chest and chicken still frying in the skillet. Just as he was about to call 911, Auntie started to laugh and Dad knew. There were many expletives uttered, all directed at mom, when Uncle Bernard revealed her hiding place, by repeatedly saying, Jim is looking for you Paula - hes mad! Fast forward about ten years later, its April 1st and Im now 20 living in South Florida. I decided to wait until 10pm to call her on the phone and offer my award winning performance, fake tears and all. Me: Mom, please dont be mad at me. Mom: Whats wrong? Whats the matter? Are you hurt? Me: Oh mom, youre going to be so disappointed. Mom: For Gods sake, just tell me. Me: Im...Im...Im pregnant! Mom: Oh my GAWD (phone receiver drops to the floor and the crying ensues followed by my dad yelling for her to calm down) Now dad takes the receiver: Dad: Brenda, what the hell is going on? Me: It was an April Fools joke - I swear I was kidding. Dad: Jesus Christ, what did you tell her? Me: I told her I was pregnant, but I swear its not true. Dad pauses and considers this, starts to laugh and says: Well-played Sissy. Ill deal with her. Mom wouldnt take my calls for a month afterward and 28 years later, shes still plotting her revenge. Today, Im leaving the area...its just not safe! :) Have a great day!
Posted on: Tue, 01 Apr 2014 09:20:05 +0000
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