Its done - My mom is officially moved out of her old apartment, and now I get to take care of her, like she took care of me when I was very much younger .... The circle is complete. Well, actually, Deb will be the one doing all the taking care of grunt work .... I mean, she takes care of me, Ill take care of mom, and Debbie will take care of the both of us ... i.e. - see that we take our meds, eat right, (at times just that we eat at all and dont get away with not wanting to eat all day) and mostly trying to keep us thinking we could get by without her if we had to. Note - Dont laugh all of my men friends ..... good women do the taking care of bit, even if youve never realized it yet. Some are just better at it than others. My mother took care of my dad, my brother, and me. My mother befriended Deb when everyone else thought she was something she wasnt, and never has been. My mother has always taken care of others, even attempting to do so, long after she was hardly able to care for herself at times. Now, I can see her, have her close to me in these twilight years of her life, and see to it she never ends up in a nursing home all alone, waiting for visitors that never seem to come. Which, of course is something my brother Steve would have NEVER allowed ... and that is a God Given Fact. Steve ... my brother and the most successful member of this family, and of whom Im extremely proud to have for a brother .... would do anything he had to do to see that our mom was and is taken care of for the rest of her life and long after as well. Im proud to have him at my back in this decision; he is the only one Id want at this time. And I feel so much better doing this knowing he is standing by to step in if, or when, the time comes. In our case, Debbie will be the one doing the caring for part ... the grunt work. She loves my mom so much, and thinks so much of her, that she gave up a dream that was finally on the verge of happening, just to make sure my mom didnt end up in a home. Debbie loves my mother so much, that sometimes others just flat have trouble seeing it that way. Deb has spent the entire past week packing, cleaning the apartment, helping mom sort through things, doing the running and getting a proper room ... not just a bedroom, but something more akin to an efficiency apartment, ready for my mom to move into, and its right here inside the house. Deb wants mom to have a place ... and I quote ... A place mom can call home even if she lives another 80 years. Frankly, Im somewhat jealous of that space we created, along with the fact that mom would probably choose Debbie over me if it came down to the nut cutting. Its cool; my moms a realist and practical, thats where I get it from, so Im actually rather relieved knowing shed make a proper decision in a case like that. And seriously, I dont know what Id do without my Debbie. She does so much, is so good at heart that some dont even realize just how natural it is in her character. Some look down on her because of how she is .... but theyre just being themselves, because theyve always looked down on anyone good and sweet and kind. I think its jealousy of not knowing what it means that someone can actually possess those traits and not live in a storybook universe .... that, or theyre just too dense to get it. My Debbie is the kind of person that will give you the shirt off her back in an instant if you need it. Shes also a very wise and intelligent woman, whos been jerked over herself in life, and doesnt like the taste of it to the point she works hard and goes out of her way to make sure those around her are taken care of ... and that even includes the ones who tend to look down on her. She was soldier in the Army. Shes worked factory jobs, desk jobs, and jobs no one else would work, just to feed her family and make sure the bills are all paid. She would turn around when she was working those jobs, and come home and put in more hours than she just finished. Her after work work was to see the house was clean and comfortable, food was cooked and meals were taken together as a family. She would see to it that everyone else was set and ready for the next day. After all that, she would tuck in the kids, and me in some cases, and see to it we went to sleep happy and content, no matter what was going on around us. And finally, still to this day, before she goes to sleep at night, and while everyone else is sleeping, she makes her rounds in the house, catching up on work and other things before she ever even thinks of getting any sleep herself. I like to put it like this to those who have bad words for my Debbie - If you have a problem, youre better off concentrating on me, because that woman is way ... Way out of your league. Shes been a better friend to my mom than Ive been a son ... and I can say that without any hesitation, because I know its the painful truth. Many, upon many times, my mom has commented to me that almost like Debbie is the little girl ... my little sister Sherry Ruth .... she lost in Arizona, all those years ago, that still seem like yesterday to all of us in my immediate family. And there are times I almost believe it as well, just in the way Debbie feels and cares for my mother, and sees to it she never has done without since my dad died. My dad told me once to never let that woman go, and that if I did let her go, then Id the greatest idiot in the world, and I deserved everything I got for letting it happen. She has ... or had, depending on how you look at it, since dad is not here any longer ... still, she has his confidence and that alone was and is the only confirmation I need that I fell in love with the right person for me. Yet, some still look at her and cynically think, and even say and spread the lie that shes something more like them than as I describe her. Words cannot describe the feelings I have for that woman ... My Debbie. Nevertheless, I still try and find the words, and spread those words every chance I get. Ive always been a writer. Ive always accomplished more, with the written word than Ive ever accomplished through other methods. Ive been published, won scholarships for my writing in college, written for magazines, written novellas, papers on topics of interest and topics that needed a voice, reported on sports both academic and professional in nature, and local government for newspapers, and have even had my work cited in the works of others. And most of all, Ive spent hours upon hours of just writing for myself and personal pleasure and diversion from things bothering me. And even though Ive done all that, and have the experience I know I have in this area of communications, I cant come up with the correct words to accurately describe one of the most important women Ive ever had in my life, and be able to explain all she does, for me and for others, for anyone else to completely understand. Thank you honey for being My Debbie. You are the very reason I know that God does exist, and that angels do walk this place we call earth. God granted me a miracle the day he brought us together. And you will always be the most important person in my life. I Love You, Forever and Always.
Posted on: Sat, 09 Aug 2014 01:31:36 +0000
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