Its funny, its all about perspective really. I see my perspective is skewed but I understand why & I dont blame the innate part of me that protects me - just perhaps I need to recognise the perceived danger/risk/vulnerability/fear vs. the actual which seems is disproved over & over. When been in such a high state if danger & threat level most of my life, however, I see this is a lot harder than I ever thought it could be - Im fighting both my mind & my body simultaneously. Im right to ask for the support I need. Heres an example of what just occurred that made me realise this; So on the train theres 8 rugby/sports lads, with 4 women all sat on the seats around the toilet area, 3 men are drinking. A lady walks up to use the loo & I think to myself Im so glad I dont need the loo because Id be mortified to have to walk straight into the middle if them all & them all sat outside loo! But the lady floors me because she just cracks a joke about whether this was the queue for the loo?! And has them all chuckling - no awkwardness at all!!! My perception was wrong as they all are nice ppl but the fear of humans/men and groups of ppl in General was wrong and no fear needed. Interesting. I closed the page down intermittently because I was feeling especially negative and I didnt want to spread that, only positive here is my new goal to practice x
Posted on: Fri, 07 Mar 2014 13:06:58 +0000
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