Its my Sonday. Things are going but Id like them to go better. Truth moment....Ive gained 55lbs since my baby boys passing. It feels like I have no control over it. That thing called cortisol is for real. I am trying to take my life back but I feel so weakened. I had a sit down with my family and explained what I felt....that we were a chain of six links and now one is missing...as a unit we dont know how to come together and function the way we use to. I know He is still in the midst of us yet its a hard pill to swallow knowing that we wont see him. I am not giving up but it is so hard. I come home and he isnt there, I go to church and all I see is the funeral like it was the first time because when it was my time to say goodbye for now....I couldnt. I had to be strong for everyone around me. I take the kids to school and he isnt running in line with Trinity. The thought that he would have been going to middle school this year coming. Its hard now because it feels like I am alone. Its hard to go thru a pain so great with your immediate family because they feel just about what I feel. Losing what was suppose to be family and friends in the process....death will really reveal the truth about people. I havent seen or heard from many. Dont get me wrong, Life goes on for everyone but its a bit of a sad feeling when you go from having so much support to so much support within so little people and then you start to feel like a burden on them......so from that I just shut down from people and stay as busy I can. I am grateful for those that stuck around.....they are truly a blessing. Doing the best they can by us. This is such a hard process and I wish this on no one. Good thing is tho, I am working hard to bounce back. Leaning on my chain with the SIX links....its all I have and togehter we are going to find a way to pull thru. Step one Tyreek......we are back on the shakes that Mommy was making for you: Dr. Sebi inspired. If you were able to do it, so can we. I love you more to L.I.F.E #teamtyreek
Posted on: Sun, 03 Aug 2014 23:12:57 +0000
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