Its strange how seeing something in the news can raise so much discussion and thought on topics. I guess it makes us try and evaluate our own lives sometimes. Theres a lot I dont understand right now. Stupid things are getting to me way more than they should. When I say dont worry about me, its true. Im far from healthy, but I know that I will never do anything to myself with an irreversible consequence. Im reckless, quick to get over emotional (even if the most it does is soft the expression on my face a bit, everything becomes an infinite thought process) Im broken inside, with no definitive reason to pinpoint and say oh, there we go, thats where it all went wrong! My life...is great. I cant complain. I have a lot of stress factors, but when it all comes down to it, Im in a good position and Im fortunate to be where Im at. Thats why I dont understand whats been eating me. Thats why Im openly admitting that I have a problem. I dont know what it is. I wad misdiagnosed with depression as a teenager, treated for it with an antidepressant, and living through those few weeks of hell from being someone who is bipolar experiencing the effects of medication made me stop and say that I never wanted to be on medication again. Some days are the best days ever, and some days are the worst. On a good day, I can come home and cry, and cry, even though Im not sad. Sometimes Ill come home on a bad day and laugh out loud at the stupidest things. Im not sure why Im writing even, other than to avoid wearing a mask. If youre on my friends list here, then you should know me. If youre a part of my life, then I dont need to hide things from you. This isnt a cry for help. As reckless and dangerous as I am, I have my limits. My friends and family mean the world to me. Your pain is my pain and I would never want to contribute to that. Besides, if I wasnt around, I dont think anybody else would take up the job of finally convincing you guys to start the super team. Just do something nice for people. Remember that even on someones bad day, theyre people too. Its hard, yeah. But we can be a team. All of us. We have our disagreements, but what are they, really, above and beyond that? Im ranting. I dont know how many of you might even be reading still. Im sorry. I want to close this by offering an ear to anyone who ever needs a friend. My schedule doesnt always let me answer immediately, but you better know damn sure that if I cant help you fix your problems, Ill at least be here to help talk you through those bad days.
Posted on: Tue, 12 Aug 2014 22:24:45 +0000
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